Loving You Hurts Me

Alone -Virgil

Have you ever watched your closest and only friends graduate without you? I have. Being 2 years younger never did me any good, all the teasing and such. Watching them get their diplomas and walking the stage makes you so proud that they actually made it, but then the reality hits and you're alone for the next 2 years.

Summer was fun, and Dee promised he'd drive me home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but what am I going to do by myself in this hellhole?
I have no more time to think because I have to get off the bus. I speed walk into the building from the bus ramp and make a dash for the 500 hall restroom. The only people in the restrooms before bell are the smokers, and I need to catch them.
As I'm about to enter I hear my name,"Virgil!", I grimace and turn to face her.
"Good morning Mrs. Stradford", I say politely, but I wish she would go away, I was so close.
"Do you have your schedule?", she asks gently. I know she cares, but I don't have time right now, 3 minutes until bell and I don't have nicotine in my body yet.
"Yes, but if you'll excuse me", I gesture towards the restroom.
"Oh! Yes, yes go", she shoots me off and I rush into the restroom nearly hitting someone on the way.

I turn the corner and head into the last stall, the door is unlocked and I can faintly smell the smoke.
Neither of the guys says anything as I keep my head down and get passed the vape. I take a hit and let the feeling wash over me. Gently blowing the smoke out my nose, I enjoy the lingering mint flavor, and I am at peace. Then the bell rings, the vape is snatched from me, and the two guys start filing out. I follow in line and slip two 20s to Terrance on the way out, I need to get a new vape and now it can't be stopped.
I walk to my first block class and sit on the floor in the back. Everyone else is spread out across the floor with their friends. I can only imagine what kind of ice breaker Mr. Grayson is going to come up with. He's actually a pretty chill teacher, my freshman year he helped convince my mom to let me go see Wicked in New Orleans. I'm genuinely interested in taking this class, I mean, who wouldn't? Watching movies and discussing them makes a great morning. But the class can't last forever and before I'm ready, it's time for second block.
  Breezing through the next hour and a half I learn I've got fourth lunch. Great, I've always loved having the items I want from the lunch line out of stock. And as if having the last lunch is bad enough, I've got third block with Roman Darling, the infamous asshole himself, and now Dee and Remus aren't here to help me.

"So where'd your weirdass friends go?" He leans forward and gently breathes into my ear. Sometimes I swear he can read my mind.
"Why? You trying to buy something?" I turn and ask out of bitterness.
"I wouldn't buy anything from you losers if it were made of gold," he calmly states. We are close enough to bump heads, but he leans back after talking. Gods, I hate alphabetically assigned seats. I always end up in front with some asshat behind me.
After introductions I take out my sketchbook to start doodling to pass the time. I don't realize this is a bad idea until after Roman takes it from my grasp.
"What are you writing in here emo?"
He flips threw the pages while nearby people snicker at me.
"Give it back," I demand through gritted teeth. He gasps and I panic, what did he find?
" 'I've always had a great big crush on death, I just think he must be so haaaandsome! I've been fantasizing about him for years, I just wish Death would some get me from this awful place' " I am confused before I realize he's just making fun of me, and no one else knows if it's real or not because he won't let them see. I lunge for my sketchbook and grab it but to do so I slam my ribs into the desk. Hard. Everyone turned because it was so loud, I probably fractured something, definitely bruised it because it hurts so bad. Mr. Perfect was stunned and just let me take it, I put it in my bag and asked to be excused to the nurse. Coach Warner pauses a moment and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. It's unbearable and my breathing starts to quicken, he says yes after what feels like years and I rush to the nearest restroom.

  I throw myself into the stall and lift up my shirt and there is a huge bruise forming. It hurts to breathe and I just keep taking more breaths. I hear two guys come into the restroom and I put my hands over my mouth to muffle myself.
  As I listen I realize they're just here to smoke and I feel relieved, and my breathing slows a bit. I open the door and ask if I can hit it, the one with glasses hands it over and I breathe the smoke in deeply, savoring it.
"Thanks," I say blowing whisps of smoke out of my mouth. I grab my stuff and head to lunch. The nurses can't help me anyways and the bell rings halfway through my slow walk there and I blend into the crowd of hungry teenagers.
  The lunch lady's know and like me, they'll toss a couple extra fries on my plate every now and then or let me get away with having two juices. I think it's because they pity me, but it's still nice to appreciate the kind strangers.
  After I enter the line I realize I don't need to eat today, but I'm too scared to just get out, so I grab a slice of pizza, an apple, and a juice. Then I punch in my lunch number and leave searching for someone complaining about not having enough food. When I see one, I act casual as I approach her table and place the tray down. I don't make eye contact with anyone as they stare at me leaving the tray behind. Someone calls me lazy for leaving my trash, but I hear a voice give thanks. That's all I need.

  After fourth block finally ends I go to the front of the building for the car riders. I don't know who's in charge of school or why they always make it start on a Thursday, but it means Dee can drive me home. I stand in the front and wait for my weird friend to show up. His name is actually Janus, but he goes by his middle name Dexter or Dee for short. He got tired of people making fun of him for having a "girl name" so he only gets called his real name when someone is being serious. It takes Dee honking at me three times before I realize he's arrived.
  "Jeez, air head much?", he teases me as I throw my backpack into his back seat.
"Just lost in my thoughts..." I mumble back.
"Prince giving you trouble already?" He asks, glancing from the road to me. We had as a group nicknamed Roman "Prince" because he acted like such a snobbish prince. The group including Remus, our other friend and Romans older brother. Sometimes I still can't believe they're related.

"Yeah, his majesty snatched my sketchbook in third," I sneer, leaving out my bruise, who knows what he'd do about it.
"Sucks you got your longest class with him."
Yeah, I wish you guys were still with me" I whisper. I half expect Dee to insult me, but instead he gives my shoulder a little comforting squeeze. I sink into my seat as we spend the rest of the short ride in silence.
After we pull into my apartment's parking lot, I unbuckle but sit in the car. I'm not ready to face my home just yet. Dee leans over I think he's going to open my door to kick me out but he hugs me. I immediately hug him back, gripping his jacket, burying my face in his shirt. I can feel him leaving small kisses on the top of my head. I know they mean nothing to him, but they only strengthen my love for him.
After a bit he lefts go and I thank him before getting out. I shuffle to the stairs and head to the third floor. When I arrive outside my apartment, I have to shove the door a little. We've always had to, the landlord refuses to fix it. When I enter I can smell the cheap beer and dirty laundry. I pick up the empty tossed cans and put them in the recycling bucket. Passing a glance at my passed out dad, I throw my book bag into my room, and get started on the laundry. If it gets done by the time my mother got home I won't have to hear her complain about how lazy I am. I turn the music in my headphone up and do the mindless task of starting the machines and waiting for them to finish.
I don't realize how much time has passed until I hear her yelling at someone before even opening the door. Dad wakes up and stumbles away, asshole. I dread every second it takes for her to open the door.

Hi, welcome to my story, sorry this chapter is a little rushed, I just want to get something out but next chapter should be better and I will update this one eventually. Mkay that's all folks, byee