Stuck in a loop. stuck in a noose.

Want a bed of insecurity and a blanket of hate?

The lockers surounded him like a maze, the halls twisting and turning. His steps alongside multiple others was a signal that he was not yet stuck in his head. He only wished he could be.

People seemed to only multiply, lanterns and the blinding lights seemed to only blur together. His legs carried him for hours until the last bell rang. He only wished that the last bell meant the last bell to his soul, But he had the suffer the life he lived. he could only listen to his own mental cries, his screams, his sobs of pity. the only one who can hear it was his head, his mind, his only friend. the only one he could ever care for.. who else would he care for, anyways? Not like he had any friends who'd care about him like he'd care about them, not like his family, his parents, cared for him. he was alone throughout his entire life, When would his teenage dream come in? was it just a myth? a false science theory? he hasn't even gotten a crush, a girlfriend, not even a boyfriend.

He quietly walked the halls, counting the tiles to help calm himself. he'd let his mind run too much now, this time it's gone too far. he stalked until he was towards the exit, he was almost ran over by other kids who were more eager to get home then him. He wasted his time getting home, being home was almost as worse as being at school. it wasn't fun being stuck between the raging herd of kids who want him dead and his parents who'd love to make it happen.

He quietly waited until a few kids were left until he decided he was safe to leave without being trampled, his shoes tapping at the concrete beneath his feet as he walked on, sand and dirt only being the graves of the bugs that used to live. When could he be in the dirt aswell? When could he kick the bucket? set in the afterlife sand? strangled like a bag?

He shut his mind off again, hearing the chatter of a few people around him, parents taking time out of their day to pick their kids up from school, While-so his parents didn't bother even attempting to lay pity on him.  He followed his normal trail, his shoes clicking quietly against the dirty rocks that lay at his feet. he kicked a few, which only scattered a few inches away. Onar grunted quietly, under his breath as he slowly walked along the path. wind gently stroking his face and pulling on his hair. It was chilly, The flowers nearby all corrupted and rotting from the freezing tempetures around the forest. The sun was hidden past the clouds who teased him. It wouldn't make a difference if it was snowing, because the wind felt rough and physical on his skin. he hated it, he hated just about everything that was currently going on. he wanted to feel much better then he did when he was at his best, Because at his best, He was still stuck in a pit of depression and abuse. Maybe his parents were right, He's as weak when he's having a hard time trudging on in the winter condition as when he is burning in the summer condition. He was quite frankly, a smart child, but not smarter then the others in his class. He's getting B's, but others are getting all A's. His parents wouldn't care, would they? If he got all A's? he should've done better, like get an A+. All A's, like his friends.. if he had any, of course. He trudged on, dead grass making odd crunching noises under his feet. He noticed the dimmed lights of his house instantly, and the smell of beer that reeked out from it.