I hate being happy
I'd rather be
Yes, I'd rather be alone
I hate how you made me
Unwilling to trust
Two years of nothing
But tears from your lust
I hate being happy
I'd rather be
Someone greater than me
'Cause staring at you
Want someone else
For too long
And it wasn't me
Really fucked with my head
Now I'm so upset
Because I think I found someone good
I think I found something good
Yet I can't forget the things that you did
I carry it all in my arms
As I cry in my bed
I'm still so afraid
I'll never be good enough
For anyone's love
But I fake being happy
So I stick to myself
'Cause I don't have to force smiles
Around nobody else
And I know I'm a good person
So I know I'll cherish me
But that's so hard for other people to see
I guess I'll pick me
Though I still hate being happy
I wish you felt the same way as me
I'm getting older and smarter
Yet I've become more vulnerable
So I put all these walls up
Hoping no one destroys them like you did
I want to be happy
Without your shadow looming over me
I don't wanna fuck this shit up
Because of you
I don't wanna lose someone I like
Because of how much I loved you
