ZARA's P.O.V
Sigh.
Ava, Ava, Ava..
I know she isn't doing so well. We've been friends long enough for me to notice when something’s off with her. Time and again, I ask and offer her a safe space to express her emotions, but she always bottles it up until she gets over whatever it is she goes through.
I believe in sharing thoughts and feelings with someone you trust whenever you have something to get off your chest. That's why I always speak to her about anything—because who else am I going to be vulnerable with? I'm blessed with a sister in her, someone I find peace in venting to.
However, it bothers me so much when she doesn't talk about her issues. Instead, she acts unbothered until it fades. Sometimes I wonder if she doesn't feel safe speaking to me about it or if she has someone else she trusts enough to confide in.
Well, I'd prefer to be the one she vents to, honestly, but if she has somebody else, then it's okay. What matters is that she talks about it. However, I don't believe that she has anyone else. I mean, if she did, she would've let me know. Besides, she wouldn't be hiding alcohol from me. That to me speaks volumes about how she uses it as a coping mechanism, you know?
Considering that, I don't know what to do as a friend to be there for her. She's not making things easier for me to figure out a suitable way to help. Besides, she can be stubborn quite often, and that's not a good look in this case.
I mean, I wasn't even halfway through the outfits when she just up and left quietly while I was still changing in my room. When I came out with the next outfit, she was gone.
She is going through something. Though I can't tell what it is exactly, it's evident in her behavior. Ava is not the type to cry. Yes, it was so sweet of her to say that she was worried if Jermaine felt the same way as I do about him, but it wasn't like her to cry about it like that.
Tears and snot? Ava? No way.
I believe she got triggered after I mentioned that she shouldn't hide alcohol from me and instead talk about whatever’s bothering her. Those tears are tied to serious underlying emotions that she bottles up, and it's sad.
At this point, I think I should give her some space or something. I mean, if she left without saying anything, then clearly she needs space, I guess.
Anyway, since there wasn't anyone to help me choose an outfit, I decided to a wear a white crop top vest and a loose green skirt that hugged nicely at my curves, flowing down my legs to meet the brown open-toe flat sandals that exposed my white-painted toenails, both ankles adorned with golden anklets.
I complemented the outfit with the following accessories: a brown head wrap that covered my dreadlocks nicely, creating a bohemian look, a black wooden beaded necklace, my favorite gold hoop earrings, two sets of traditional waist beads—green and black, and golden bracelets on both arms.
I completed the look with black eyeliner and cocoa butter lip balm. If you see me with black eyeliner on, just know I got places to be mama, you feel me?
I twirl in front of the full-length mirror to check myself out, "Hmm, beautiful", I smile at my reflection before going over to the couch to grab my purse.
