𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍 . . . 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥

31. 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙥𝙚𝙨

31. don't burn the tapes

season one, episode thirteen: tape 7, side a

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Nessa woke up hoping that last night was a complete nightmare, and that none of it was real. She looked around her room, noticing her desk that was torn apart, and the Walkman that had been flung across her room, and realized that it wasn't.

Life was cruel, and it was real.

Zach and Nessa both had their depositions today. Zach's was early in the morning, and Nessa's was the last one of the day. She didn't want to go, she couldn't imagine going now. Knowing what she knew, she couldn't stand to think about going in and talking to people about it.

Nessa sighed, and immediately tears began streaming down her face again. She considered ways to get out of school today, but she knew she was going to have to try really, really hard to get her mother to agree to her skipping. She flipped up her phone to reveal six messages from Zach, but none from Alex. At least one of them was giving her the space that she had asked for.

"Nessa, honey!" Mrs. Dempsey called from the hallway. "It's time for school."

Nessa quickly gathered the tissues that she had used last night to wipe her tears and curled into bed, forcing herself to cough and blow her nose. Her mother opened her door and saw her daughter, still in her pajamas.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Mrs. Dempsey asked as she walked into Nessa's room and sat on her bed, looking at the pile of mess from Nessa's desk.

"What happened over there?" the elder woman asked, concerned.

"I couldn't find a pencil yesterday and I got frustrated." Nessa lied, but her mother didn't question it.

"I think I have a fever." Nessa said weakly, playing up her sickness and changing the subject.

Mrs. Dempsey reached across her daughter, feeling her head with her hand.

"You are a little warm." she said, glancing at her daughter, who truly did look sick. "Stay home today, but that's it. And only because your deposition is later today."

Nessa nodded, and curled back into her pillow, pretending to fall asleep until her mom left the room. After the door was shut and it was clear that Nessa's mother was downstairs, she got out of bed and grabbed the Walkman that was on her floor. She went to the pile of things from her desk and fished out the tapes, grabbing the last one. Tape 14.

Nessa didn't want to listen to it at all, but she knew she had to. She knew it would eat her alive if she didn't.

"One last try. I'm going to give life one last try.

I recorded thirteen tapes. I started with Justin and Jessica – who each broke my heart. Alex, Tyler, Courtney, Marcus – who each helped to destroy my reputation. On through Zach and Ryan – who broke my spirit. Through tape number 12, Bryce Walker - who broke my soul, and someone else's.

But a funny thing happened as I finished number 13. I felt something...shift. I had poured it all out, and for a minute, just a minute, I felt like maybe I could beat this.

I decided to give life one more chance, but this time I was asking for help. Because I know I can't do it alone."

"Where's Ness? She never misses school." Justin asked Zach as the two boys stood against the lockers with Marcus and Ryan.