It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
I keep my eyes closed as the hits keep coming. The foul words spew from his mouth with every hit, the smell of beer and sweat cloud my thoughts as I try to find a place in mind where he isn't.
After a while he starts panting and he stops hitting me. I don't look up, I just lay there. Twitching. It doesn't hurt. I'm crying for his satisfaction. It doesn't hurt. He smirks and yanks down my pants. He's my boyfriend. It's not like I can say no. It doesn't hurt. He grunts and groans. I don't move a muscle. It doesn't hurt. After what feels like an hour but is probably 10 minutes he rolls off and heads to the bathroom. I stay there. Naked, and shaking on the living room floor. It doesn't hurt. He's an asshole but he's all I got at this point. Pain don't hurt... It doesn't hurt. No. Not at all. He comes back in and growls to me to take a shower. That he was leaving for work and that he wouldn't be home till around midnight. It was 9am. He gets out at 5. He goes to the bar after work. Thank god.... hah. God... I jump up and run to the shower with a nod to him. I get in with all my clothes in hand and start the shower, I rinse the dried blood, spit and semen of all of them then set them down in the back of the shower and start cleaning myself slowly but I never stop moving. He comes in and throws open the curtain. He quickly tells me not to take forever in the shower cause the hot water cost a lot of money. Then with a awkward kiss on my cheek, he throws a fake I love you back to and me runs out the door. I wait 10 seconds after he leaves and then collapse on the floor of the shower. I don't cry. I don't think of how much I hate him. I just....sit there. Cause after all. It doesn't hurt. I've been hit all my life. By my father, by all my boyfriends, by the jerks at school. I'm so used to the pain that...It doesn't hurt.
It never hurt.
Right up to the day I died.
It doesn't hurt.
