& I'm just a girl.

Connection.

She was just a stupid girl.
She loved more then she should have.
She forgave more then she should have too.
Too easily, she forgave to easily.
Too easily, she loved to easily.

Maybe that was the problem. Loving came so easily to her, she had nothing to fear, no heartbreak, she was practically untouched and bathed in this, this innocence. For that aspect at least. She loved but often supressed her love. Not out of fear of rejection, no never rejection. She supressed her love because of fear of it being returned. Because once there is a mutual love you can get hurt.
She was used to people leaving her. Dropping like flies everywhere she turned.
She only wanted something that wasn't temporary. She had only wanted something that was Real.

I guess you could say she was an anomaly. She loved and because of her love she hurt people. Without intention of course.
She would leave before she could be left. But she was never really able to just leave. You see she still depended on those she loved, even if she didn't want to believe it. So she stuck around building better relationships with those she hurt.

But there was more. She loved the boy, but she did not understand then that there are different types of love. She loved how she felt standing next to him, she loved his embrace, she loved how he loved her. Her body yearned to be held, and wanted what he was to her. What he was for her. However she knew that love wasn't enough. She had fulfilled what her body had wanted, but what of her heart? Her soul? They still yearned for something, something more. they yearned for a connection. So she left. How could she describe that he was everything but he wasn't enough? He hadn't done wrong. But she still left. She wasn't complete. Not yet.

He was hurt and she was hurt but she was open to new. He wasn't. She couldn't look for that connection with him, she knew that now. So she turned to her other friend, he seemed nice enough she thought. She wasn't expecting him to be the connection she knew she needed. But they talked. And they talked. And they talked some more. And he knew more. It was like the more he told her he took a brick from her wall. And the more she watched him take the bricks the more she was mesmerized. He was like the pied piper without intention, for she slowly began to speak to him as well. And together they worked, tearing the walls that she built. And he eventually was able to climb in. She looked back to how she loved the other boy, that wasn't the love she felt now. She felt confused. "Why isn't it the same as it was with him?" She asked in her head over and over again. Until it struck her. It was because she had found it. She had found the connection. He was the one. Not only did he settle the yearning from her body wanting to be held, but he contented her heart and soul.

But she was still just a stupid girl. For all things this good had to end. He had hurt her.

But he was like her and couldn't leave her. He depended on her. He needed her. And so he kept her by his side but as a friend. He feared losing her. He didn't want to be left. And she understood. Because she and him were connected.

Whatever his and her soul was made of, they were the same.

******************

Hey guys,

I know its been quite a while since my last update but my fajah doesn't have wifi at the moment so it's been a little harder to update. Lets just say I had a little bit more motivation to find a way for this chapter because I just really wanted you guys to see it.

Oh and remember at the beginning of the book where I had that A/N that said if you guys wanted to comment words I would give my opinion in a new chapter? That's still on the table just so you all know. But I was thinking and if you disagree with something and have a different opinion I'd love to hear it.

Thanks so much for reading and have a great night!

Elle<3