"Are you ready for bed yet babe?" Phoebe says quietly. "Yeah almost honey" I say quietly also. *Sigh* As I hear her footsteps go away from the door I began to sob silently..I'm not ready for prison, I can't go but I have to pay for what I've done. Me and Phoebe have been dating for almost 3 1/2 years now and now it's time for us to say goodbye starting tomorrow..this is all my fault I brought all of this sorrow into our relationship and now it's gonna fuck up everything I wanted with her..our marriage..our chance at having kids..ugh I can't deal with myself. I wipe my tears to make it not obvious that I was crying and make my way out of the bathroom with my Calvin Klein boxers and Calvin Sports Bra and get Into bed next to Phoebe "Goodnight Baby, I love you so much" "I love you more baby, Goodnight" she says as I scoot over and spoon her.
As I look out the window and see nothing. nothing. nothing, but darkness and sorrow..I start thinking..thinking to myself what's gonna happen to me, AM I GONNA GET RAPED, AM I GONNA DIE all of a sudden my heart starts beating faster and faster my heart clenching together, I'm not receiving oxygen. Phoebe stops the car and immediately helps and calms me down by putting her hand on my heart and whispering words of comfort, I start sobbing uncontrollably my breathing seizing at this point "I can't" I stutter "I can't do this, I'm not ready for prison" I say as I choke on my hot tears "You can baby, your a strong women, I know you can do this" Phoebe says with a little smirk on her face, I lean in and kiss her and whisper "I love you so so much baby" "I love you too babe" We sit there and hug for a minute and continue on our journey...to hell. I step out of the car and make my way to the doors, We enter the building I can only describe the feeling it was as cold as the ice on northern sea and the smell of cloudy dog piss wasn't any better..this isn't good I don't know about this..a women's voice snapped me out of my thoughts "what are you here for mam" "I um I'm here for uh-" I couldn't speak I was to choked "She's here to relinquish" Phoebe buts in for me I mouth a thank you too her "what is your name mam" "Stella...Stella Carlin" I respond in a nonchalant tone. "Well here you are inmate, just come with me" INMATE. DID SHE JUST CALL ME INMATE. JESUS... I walk to the doors to the right where the security guard is waiting obviously annoyed, I turn to my Fiancé and hug her tight "I'm gonna miss you so much baby doll" I say sadly with tears on the edge, but Phoebe quickly wipes them away and gives me a sweet passionate kiss "I'm gonna miss you too baby. I promise to write and visit you whenever I can" I look down at my engagement ring and slowly slide it off..I hesitate but I hand her the ring "keep it" I continue "put it in a safe place" "I will baby" she gives me one last kiss before I let go of her hand an walk to the entrance of the prison and take in a deep breath.
