Begin Again

Seventeen

Jin sat up against the headboard in the dark room. He could hear his daughter and Jimin talking just outside the door. It's been two days since his beloved mother passed away. And he's been in a zombie like state. Locked away in his room.

He knew they were all worried about him. And that he should probably do something to show them how strong he is. But at the moment, all he felt was cold and empty.

He has lost the most important person in his life. Other than his baby girl.

How can he face a new day knowing she's not a part of his life anymore? It's like a light went out and brought darkness.

Knock-knock

"Jin-ah? Hey.. can I come in?" Jimin asks.

Jin sighs and falls sideways onto his bed. He holds a pillow in his arms and waits for Jimin to come in.

He hears the door open and soft footsteps walking towards him. It doesn't take long for Jimin to stand in front of him.

He then sits down and reaches out to hold Jin's hand in between his.

"Hey, I know you want to hide yourself in your room forever. But I need you. Your daughter needs you. Taehyung has been going crazy worried about you.

You still have a responsibility to handle your mother's funeral arrangements. The funeral home has called several times to ask for directions. And they ended up trying to ask Jungkook for help. I had to tell them that you would reach them in a couple of hours."

Jimin sees tears slide down Jin's cheeks. And he continues.

"Please Jin.. you need to come out. You can't leave your mother lying in that funeral home forever."

Jin finally cries out, sobbing loudly into the pillow. Jimin tries to console him but gets startled when Jin loudly says, "How can I Jimin? How can I arrange for her to leave me forever? I can't.. I just can't. I feel so helpless. Like a fuckin' child. I can't even do that for her."

At that moment, the door opens and Taehyung comes in. He rushes to Jin's side and lifts him up and holds him in his arms. Allowing him to cry freely on his shoulder.

Tae glances at Jimin and he takes that as his cue to leave. So he quietly walks back out.

After Jin cries for a good while, Taehyung finally pulls him back and tells him, "Hey, it's ok to grieve. No one will deny you that. But.. you are needed right now. I know you don't want to. I know you would give anything to not have to deal with any of this. But you are the only one who can make these decisions. Do you really want your ex to handle it? No.. your mother deserves to have the funeral and celebration of life that only you can provide. You won't be alone. I will be by your side for however long you need me to. So will Jimin. Speaking of which.. he hasn't properly grieved yet. He's been looking out for Su-min, trying to explain what happened."

Jin squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a sigh. He finally gets it through his head that he's the only one who should handle his mother's final goodbye.

"You're right. I can grieve when I am alone. After I make sure my eomma has a proper send off."

They then walk out of the room and Jin searches for his daughter. When he finds her, she rushes into his arms and cries. He hugs her and lets her cry. But he remains strong. He knows if he cries too, he'll just run back into his room and never come out.

"Baby.. I need to go make arrangements for your halmeoni. Can you please be a good girl until I come back?"

"I want to go with you." She responds.