bittersuite | b.e

3

adrienne adair
1:28 am

"do you ever stop daydreaming?"

finneas shoved my head playfully, messing up my hair. only the side of his face was visible due to the cool toned party lights. i noticed his defined features, he looked straight european. if he had an accent i wouldn't even mistake him for it. my head shook a bit, noticing billie wasn't in the spot i thought she was. instead it was some random dude making out with a girl.

practically groping each other. if this is what being 'drunk' was liked i don't want it.

my body was stumbling around between the crowd and every few moments i tripped over someone's shoe. my eyes felt heavy almost as if i was tired physically without the mental feeling. my vision was permanently used to the lighting that casted across my body.

"jesus how much did you drink, you look a mess" i rolled my eyes at his words obnoxiously. his way of talking to me was through playful jokes, almost as if we were siblings. which, i would hate to imagine but that's how it felt i went to speak but my voice felt so slow compared to how fast time was ticking.

"not much, where is nick? my brother, nick." i laughed a bit. the thought of my brother looking stupid making my heart erupt with hysteria. the actions causing him to grab me by the arms gently. too gently. he motioned towards the back patio of the house with head, his dirty blonde hair tucked behind his ear.

"he is with others outside playing some cup pong, lets go see them and get you some water." his arm was put around my shoulder as i followed directly next to him, falling over myself a few times before the cold air of outside hit me. i noticed how our sides would rub against each other and i would try to make a respectful boundary.

in my blurry view, groups of people were in small pods. either they were talking, drinking, or playing a game.

or, all three at once.

i noticed my brother alongside some childhood friends cuddled up against a ping pong table. each team taking shots and cheering when they make it on. their arms coming up as they high-five and jump into each others bodies to celebrate.

on the couch was a few girls, including billie. one of the girls, blonde hair and big brown eyes sat on her lap. she was almost wearing nothing and her body was heat compared to mine. she twirled her hair behind her ear and giggled.

billie looked near bored out of her mind. her eyes scanning every where else but the girl as the rest of the group giggled and whispered amongst the boys.

something felt a little tight in my chest as i watched her hands slither around the girls waist. i don't know why i felt like that because there was nothing i could do to prevent that. she wasn't mine and moments before i was only just dreaming of her.

before i knew it, finneas was placing me on the couch a few spots away from billie. i slid back, dizzy as the girls around me didn't even acknowledge my drunken presence. i ran my hands over my head and down through my hair.

a few seconds passed, feeling like minutes, as most of the girls including the one on billie's lap left to go swimming. i opened my eyes to notice they weren't there, it was just me and her and the celebratory shouts of the boys.

"how much did you drink?" she said, a small laugh toying on her voice basically flirtatiously. billie had a way with words and in a short phrase, she knew what she was doing almost all the time.

i probably wasn't special when it came to this act. when she brought her lip between her teeth, scooting a bit closer to sit next to me i couldn't help but feel my heart beat a little faster.