𝓒𝓻𝓾𝓼𝓱|| HAOBIN ||

But you did leave..

After Hanbin left Ricky and Hao began to "talk".
Although it was more like fighting rather than talking.

"Ge," Ricky began. " Why didn't you tell me you were back?"

Hao stayed quiet for a moment before replying. "I never left—"

"But you did. You did leave, Ge."

"I disappeared—"

"Disappearing is leaving." Ricky stated. "You suddenly left without a word, or a goodbye, and then don't speak to me or anyone else for five years and suddenly come back and now live with Hanbin out of all people."

"Ricky," Hao began. "You have no idea what I've been through these past five years—"

"No, you're right. I don't. You know why? Because you never spoke to me these past. Five. Years. Ge. Five years. I've been so freaking worried about you all these years. Even the police didn't know where you were. You just, disappeared."

"..."

"..."

Silence fell between them...

"Ricky," Hao spoke up as tears fell down his face. "If—I could go-back in time, I'd never leave you or my family ever. But.." he paused to breathe. "Unfortunately, I cannot—go back in time."

Now Ricky was tearing up. Which was rare for the boy. He rarely showed his emotions to anyone.

"Ge, why?! Why, did you leave?"

"I..." Hao wiped his tears. "Was in love, or what I thought was...love.." that broke the both of them even more. Ricky couldn't take it anymore he offered out his arms which Hao immediately hugged him back.

The two cried in each other's arms for a while.

"I should have never left for him. Left you, my family, my mother, for that bitch." Hao cried.
"Ricky, I'm so sorry." More tears.

"Ge," Ricky tightly hugged back. "It's going to be ok, I'm here. You are safe now.."

"But Ricky," Hao gently pushed away from the hug. "Please don't tell anyone about this. About why I left. It's...embarrassing."

Ricky nodded. "Of course, Ge. I understand. Who else knows about your return?"

"Only you and Hanbin know the truth. Yujin, Matthew and I assume now Jiwoong Hyung from Matthew. Also my parents, Gunwook, my cousin, and I think that's it."

Ricky's expression changed. "I'm ninth? How could I be ninth?"

Hao looked at him with a confused expression. "Ricky, this isn't some competition to win. I didn't know how to face you after all these years...it's embarrassing to explain where I've been. I've been through a lot. Why are you making it a competition?!"

"I don't know! Maybe I just missed you!"

"You don't think I didn't miss you too?! I missed you all! I missed my parents, you, Taerae, Yujin, Matthew, Jiwoong, and Hanbin all equally!"

"THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE—?!" Ricky covered his mouth right away after realizing what he had just said. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that—" he tried to apologize, but it was too late.

Thankfully the awkward and emotional moment was stopped by Hanbin who had walked into his apartment because he heard them yelling from outside the door.

"Ricky, I think you should go.." Hao whispered, trying to keep his tears in.

Ricky looked at Hao, then Hanbin who just looked at him dead in the eyes, then back at Hao. He nodded and left silently without another word.

After he left Hao let his tear go. And there was a lot. A waterfall of tears fell down his face. He walked over to Hanbin, who was frozen in his spot, and he hugged him suddenly. "I'm really sorry," he whispered.

Hanbin hugged Hao back and rested his head on his head. "He'll come around some day...but he should be the one apologizing to you..."

"He did though.." Hao said. "I...I didn't accept it.."

"He said a pretty mean thing, Hao." Hanbin replied.

Silence fell in the room. Hao thought about it for a second but, his mind wouldn't stop telling him that he's the problem in every. And that every is all his fault. Everything he went through was all his fault.

"Hao?" Hanbin broke the silence. "I'm worried about you..."

"I'm fine..." Hao replied. Yeah...he hates lying to someone he cares for, like Hanbin, but his ex always told him nobody actually cares for him and so that formed trust issues....even with the people close to him.

"Hao, please," Hanbin began. "Sometimes I can't sleep at night knowing that you are hurting every day because of that idiot psycho."

Hao broke down. "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to feel. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not the same Zhang Hao from high school anymore, Hanbin. I'm worthless and ugly. I'm stupid, and a problem causer!"

"No you aren't," Hanbin calmly said. Tears started forming in his eyes from Hao's words. "Your amazing, talented...beautiful...and so much more, Hao!"

Hao made eye contact with Hanbin. "You think I'm beautiful?" A tear ran down his face.

Hanbin slightly smiled. "I think you are the most beautiful person in this world. I—I was going to wait until later, maybe a couple years, because I want you to heal and worry about yourself first—and I of course still want you to take care of yourself first—your mental health is most important—but—"

Hao cut the male off and sooner than expected, their lips were suddenly connected together in a sweet small kiss.

Hao disconnected their lips quickly after connecting them in a panic. He softly pushed Hanbin away in fear and started apologizing. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I really am. I didn't even ask. I'm such a dumbass. Shit—"

"Hao!"

Hao did not stop venting about his "mistake" or what he thought was a mistake, and so, Hanbin took into his own matter. He shut Hao up with another kiss. Another sweet and simple kiss.

Hanbin then connected their foreheads after the kiss. "Hao," he began. "I like you..."

Hao smiled. "I like you too..."

—————

Thank you for being so patient! Sorry for the slow updates:( life has been messy for me recently ... I know I say that every chapter basically:\

Idk when it will be out, but I am writing a WooSan fic! The chapters so far are very long heheh! So for those who like Ateez, please look out for that! :D