I act happy, I act strong and I seem to be a great person to my friends... Well, the ones that I have. I don't really know if I should call them friends, more like people I pretend to like. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they'd be nice if I weren't me, they've found out the truth about me and it's all over.
They judge me and it hurts, the pressure will kill me if I don't do something. Please, kill me someone. I don't want to live like this, an outcast. I used to be liked by so many people until the incident. They found out I was the slightest bit different, and abandoned me. They didn't even acknowledge how I felt, how I feel now...
They've made me this, not insanity. The doctors call me insane, but it's not true! I don't have multiple personality syndrome and I'm not bipolar! It is their fault that they change me so easily... Not mine. How can I not get mad if you say things like that about me, and even straight to my face?! They aren't voices in my head, they're the true friends!
I want someone to acknowledge me, not for what they think I am, but for who I really am. If they can't do that, then they're nothing but insects to me.
I want to die, just die. Nobody understands that and I don't know why! Why can't it all just be the way I want it?! They don't understand, I want to find someone who I'm comfortable with and won't abandon me like all the rest!
Please, don't leave. I really want help, but not from the pills. I need friends like the ones in my head, the ones that make it all better. I like them because they all have a story, and they understand me and like me.... And I know that they won't abandon me! Why is it so hard to stay with me? Everyone's difficult once in a while, even you, my few readers!
I want everyone to know that I'm just the same as them, not some kind of crazy freak. It's not that hard.... I swear!
