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Kiara always writes a weekly diary and it has been a few weeks since she missed it, today she wrote how she felt.
Dear Diary,
Another interschool debate victory, another wave of congratulations. It feels surreal sometimes. Everyone at school sees me as this debate whiz, the girl who can dismantle arguments with a single, well-placed sentence. But the truth is, the only place I feel truly confident is on the debate stage. Here, at home, it's a different story.
Just this evening, Dad was talking about entrance exams and prestigious colleges. He wants me to be a doctor or engineer, a dream I haven't harboured since I was a kid. Medicine or Engineering feels like a foreign language to me, a jumble of terms and concepts I can't seem to crack. It's frustrating like my brain only works in this world of arguments and rebuttals.
Okay, I understand I have good grades but it doesn't mean I can only become a doctor or engineer. Why can't I become a Data Analyst or Actuary or Writer? Why should always a student with good grades has to figure out his/her shit this early?
The only escape is the library. Immersing myself in a good book, getting lost in someone else's world, that's pure joy. But lately, there's another escape – my new group of friends. Maya, Ajay, and Ayush. It all started with a chance encounter in the library, all of us grappling with the same monstrous math problem. Ayush, the quiet boy from my class who has been a new acquaintance, was quite disturbed, his shy smile disarmingly genuine.
What started as a tutoring session and common friends soon blossomed into a full-fledged friendship. Maya, a firecracker of a girl with a mane of red hair, brought laughter and life to our group. Ajay, the class clown with a surprisingly sharp wit, kept us entertained with his jokes. And Ayush, with his calm demeanour and unwavering support, became a pillar of strength.
They might not be the most academic bunch – Maya's more interested in food than formulas, Ajay's creativity thrives in chaos, and Ayush... well, let's just say his future lies on the cricket pitch, not in a lecture hall. But their acceptance is a calm to my soul. They see me, Kiara, the girl who can argue like a lawyer and get lost in a good book, and they don't judge.
Maybe, just maybe, having them by my side will give me the courage to fight for my path. I won't let Dad's disappointment drown me. I'll hold onto that image of my friend's acceptance and not some "Topper or Best Debater Image".
We're working on a school newsletter together, a way to showcase our diverse talents. Maya's restaurant reviews are guaranteed to raise eyebrows, Ajay's humour column promises side-splitting laughter, Ayush might even find a brain teaser that stumps even the smartest kids, and I'll weave magic with my book reviews.
It's not a world-changing project, but it's ours. We'll work on it tomorrow, probably at the library again. We may not be the most popular kids in school, but we have a bond forged in shared experiences, dreams, and a healthy dose of laughter. Maybe, just maybe, this group of misfits can carve our path, one filled with words, laughter, and the satisfying quiet of a book well-read.
Even the prospect of having them over at my place, a difficult thought considering my parents' friends, seemed less scary with their support.
Of course, that plan backfired spectacularly. My mom's offhand comment about weight, disguised as a joke, hung heavy in the air. The joy of our brainstorming session evaporated, replaced by a suffocating awkwardness.
But even that experience, however unpleasant, brought us closer. They saw the struggle behind the facade, the weight of my parents' expectations that I could never seem to meet. And they didn't judge.
Tomorrow, we'll probably continue working on the newsletter at the library, a silent testament to our friendship. We may not be the most popular kids in school, but we have a bond forged in shared experiences. I hope we can stay like this forever. The acceptance made me overwhelmed in a few weeks. See you next week diary!
That's all for this chapter! Hope you loved it and will continue reading "Beyond the Spotlight." We all have insecurities, but that doesn't stop us from achieving great things.
This chapter explored the weight of expectations, both internal and external. Kiara isn't alone in her struggles. What challenges do you face? How do you find your voice? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Thanks for reading! <3
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