Some people have scars have unthinkable places. Scars from things other than falling down and getting hit by something. These scars are from cutting, yes self harm. These are the worst kind of scars. Well I think it's about time I introduced myself. I'm Sydney, I'm a former cutter. It's one of the hardest things to say. I'm eleven years old, but my birthday is next month, in August.
The thing that pushed me to cut was my first boyfriend in September of 2014. He broke up with me and when we broke up that was the first time I've seen a boy cry so much. At first it was pencils and anything sharp I could find in my room then I found my mom's beauty supplies. There were razors, for cutting hair, to use. I was with my best friend Ashley, we both had a razor, and we both used our razor. I was bleeding like crazy, but it didn't matter as long as I got to cut.
I would cut ten times then stop for a hour or so ( to let that blood dry) then go back at it. I know I shouldn't hurt myself and others like that, but I did it anyway. My ex-boyfriend's mom turned in a list of people who cut, then we were seached for blades. My bestfriend, Ashley, and I were both checked. I didn't think it was polite to search me, but they did anyways.
My friend Hailey asked me for a blade so I brought two for her she took one and I was stuck with the other one for the rest of day. Well Brinna Whitley turned me in for having it. And I got suspened for a day. That night my mom found out that I was cutting again, so she decided to send me to a hopital. I stayed there for a night then they found me a crazy hopital. It was kinda of like a group home except that you actaully have a family. I stayed there a few days, but my mom visted everyday but I was extremly mad at her. I was just happy to see my family. The worst part about the hopital was that it was five hours away from my home, my one true home. They let me leave after a while because I got the flu. But when I got home I was so scared, I didn't ever want to go back. I didn't like it there. I almost didn't get to spend Christmas with my family. I was so scared
People always wonder way I'm so hesitate to trust people. When I trust someone it always backfires on me! When I can't trust people they tend to start not to trust me also, so my life was just an endless cycle of nine schools, 9000people and an endless ruthless line of mom's boyfriends.
People just dont understand my life. It's full of lies, thruths, hearts full of hate thats all my life is. Yeah sure I've made some friends for life like Alyssa, Ashley, and Kailey. Those friends I could actually trust. I've just met Alyssa this past March, but I met Ashley two years ago. And Kailey, wow Kailey, I met her in the first grade. We're not good friends anymore because I moved three cities away.
