Joe Biden Is Actually An Owl (with Proof)

Have you ever wondered about Joe Biden being an owl and not human? I know, me too. It’s like a daily habit, I can’t STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!! So today, I will reveal the shocking truth of Joe Biden being an owl. Get ready for the news.

So, to start off, Joe Biden often says the phrase ‘The fact is’ to start his sentences. The phrase is 3 words long, 11 characters, and 13 characters if we include spaces. The phrase starts with an article, then a noun, and lastly, a ‘be verb.’ Like an owl, he says this very often. It has a striking resemblance to’ Hoot! Hoot!’ since owls say it so often. This, people, is not just interesting, but something revolutionary.

Furthermore, according to an article by my parrot, Joe Biden states that he needs more sleep. Now, this is shocking. If Joe Biden needs more sleep, that must mean that he is participating in nocturnal activities. Why else would he stay up so late? This fact might just suggest Joe Biden’s connection to owl cults. Now, I am sure that Joe Biden would love the Owl House for this reason.

And, because it ended in 2023, Joe Biden has stood up for its owly title by announcing candidacy for president in 2024. This strikes lots of resemblances, people. And, also, if you like the Owl House, you must be an owl. Why else would you like it? See, you can’t answer that. Figures.

Also, I interviewed an owl the other day and asked her: “Is Joe Biden a part of you guys?” And, to no one’s surprise, the owl said “Hoot Hoot” which, if you don’t know Owl Language translated to “Yes, I know. I can confirm Joe Biden is part of us.”

So, Joe Biden is an owl. See, people, you must open up your eyes! Combat against the fake news that implies that Joe Biden is NOT an owl! We must spread more truths!