The Balcony Scene // Kellic / boyxboy

6- Awful

A/N: I'm so so SOOOOOO sorry for the lack of chapters I am HORRIBLE with writers block trust me I really want to continue this fic.

this chapter is gonna be like kellin back story i guess, sorta filler but actually important to the plot

YOUNGER KELLIN BTWWWW
let's sayyyyyy 14 years old, i'm a great planner i know.

yes i know he's annoyingly anxious, he's 14.

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(Kellin's Pov)~~~~~~~~

I take a deep breath and hesitantly place my hand of the cold of aluminum of the ladder in front of me; Justin "accidentally" had left it out while he was helping his father in the garden- something he did for me ever time I snuck over to his place.

ohhhhhkay.. just put your foot on the step.
it's the same feeling every time, some weird mix of excitement and fear.

My heart rate began to pick up steadily with every step of the ladder I took. Every step closer to Justin, the sweatier my shaky palms got.

Although, I wasn't nervous or scared because I was sneaking out, cause I sneak out damn near every other night. I'm nervous because I'm seeing Justin and that's a big thing- because sadly, i'm in love with him.

I stop for a few seconds just to look up at the light emitting from Justin's window, one step more and he'd see my annoyingly grungy pimple face and greasy hair. Sometimes I wondered why he'd keep such an eyesore around, and that stupid god damn fact would only make me love him more.

Fuck my stupid brain and fuck Justin too.

It's just a predicament, Justin and I- It's like I swear he's leading me on, but at the same time I still wanna make him want to treat me like this because he actually loves me, not because he loves my attention. At the same time, I know never he'll love me back.. he likes girls.

I take a couple more steps and I finally reach Justin's window, now becoming face to face with the glass.

I couldn't help but take a couple of minutes to just look at him, and how peaceful he looked as he sat on his bed and practiced his unplugged bass. His face seemed to focused on every string he pluck and every note that ring out from the nickel strings.

I knock on the window softly, just enough for Justin's head to poke up from his bass strings to his window.

Justin smirked softly and hung his bass back on his wall and walked over to his window to let me in, and with a small click of the lock, Justin lifted up the bottom of the window.

"Oh hey Kells." He smiled calmly and took my hand in his as he helped me crawl through the tiny window and into his bedroom.

"Hey Justin." I chuckled softly as I stand up to my feet and close the window behind me. "Missed ya." It was honestly redundant to say that- it was clear by how eager I to come over again when he gave me the invitation.

Justin took out a box of cigarettes from his back pocket and gestured to the window. "Actually- Sorry Kells, can you open that window again? I don't want my mom to smell the smoke." he chuckled sheepishly.

I nodded softly and lifted up the window with all the muscles that I barely had- quite frankly it was a bit embarrassing how scrawny I was, but Justin told me that girls these days actually like scrawny guys.. would've been good advice if I had wanted a girlfriend.

My eyes drift to Justin's lips and then towards the cigarette as he took a drag.

A lot of people in my life smoke cigarettes, my mom, my dad, my aunts, and uncles it always made me wonder what was so great about those little cigarettes. Was it the dry gross smoke that went down into your throat or the weirdly calming scent it gave off?