When you're going through post-grief emotions, everyone takes each new step differently. Leaving parts of themselves behind on each step. I've lost hope, love and sense of self, but I've been able to be guided through each step with the help of the stars, and Dr Chaney my therapist of course.
But when I was finally met with the next step, this one had a door. A door that I opened with confidence, that's what I lost along the way, as well as happiness and so many more things to come, as I'm still walking the path that was behind the door.
☾Friday, 15th January 2024☽
High schools great, if you're anyone but me. I walk through the halls being watched like theres literally the word DEPRESSION, hanging over my head. Mom and Dad moved us to a whole new state, to run away from the memories. They thought moving into a townhouse in some crowded city would change things. I had grown up in a classroom of 7 kids and the high school back at home only had like 9, now I'm in multiple different classes with over 20 kids. Still think you're helping Mom and Dad?
"Oh, you're Jolie? Right? Yeah, you're the girl whose sister died like 5 years ago"
"Huh, um, what, how do you know that?"
"It was such a big deal on the news, oh and i'm pretty sure theres like an episode about you on the true crime audio book my dad listens to"
Just like that I find another crack in the path, was this how my social life gets destroyed? Not that i had one to begin with.
"Oh, um, i didn't know that.."
"Ok well, my condolences"
"Yeah, yeah thanks"
How many people know about my past? Do they know about the next day? How much do they know? How commercial was the news spread? I'm in an audio book??
Its been so long since the incident, but over and over again my life's purpose and meaning drain. All I can do is look for the stars that used to lead me home. The home where Angie was, will the stars lead me to the next step now? Or straight back to the home i lost, the memories i lost, the bad memories i still have, to Angie?
No, no I can't do it.
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"You skipped your first class?!?"
"Mom..I..I"
"What were you thinking?!"
"No, Dad, I.."
What was i doing? Why did i skip my first class? Well at the time, crying on the disgusting bathroom floor was all i could handle for the first day at this new school. The principle said take my time and only say or do what i feel comfortable with, so thats exactly what i did.
YOU ARE READING
Over The Fence
General FictionAt the age of 8 years old, she watched the person she loved most fall into the depths of death. Then she tried to fall too, but only into the depths of depression. She grew up navigating a life haunted by a shattered past. So broken, but so young an...
