Once upon a time, there was a mayor named Mr. Noel, a queen named Ms. Mollie and a dog named Louie. They all lived in a town called Dundrum. It was a day in the Summer when something floated down in front of their house. ''Whats that?'' said Mollie, looking out of the window. ''Its a hot-air balloon'' said Noel. Just then Louie started barking at the hot-air balloon because on it was a sign, it said ''ride me''. ''I guess we should ride it'', said Noel. ''It would be fun''. ''Ok'' said Mollie. So soon they got ready to go. In a few minutes they were all in the balloon. ''Off we go'' said Mollie, who was the controller of the balloon. A few hours later, they were high in the sky. They were having so much fun that they didn't see that a tree was ahead. ''Look out'' cried Noel. ''Woof'' barked Louie. ''Aaagh'' screamed Mollie. ''Hellpppp!'' They all cried. ''Get us down,'' said Mollie. Fortunatly a hunter heard their crys and he pulled out his shotgun and shot the balloon, soon it floated down. ''Thank you,'' said Noel. Soon they were back at their house. ''What an adventure'', said Mollie, and they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
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Wow, that was awful! Okay, now to gather my thoughts on this first story. Well firstly, I typed it out as it appeared in the copy, as I will continue to do for the rest of these. So all grammatical and spelling errors are 100% genuine. At this early stage, you can clearly see I had no clue how to use apostrophes. They're virtually non-existent here, which is slightly amusing. Apart from that, this is a real bummer of a debut. The only interesting thing about it is the use of a shotgun to get the balloon down. Slightly worrying that my very first story managed to involve guns but whatever! Elsewhere, this story is just bland and completely unintelligible. Things do get better eventually, I promise!
Overall rating: 4/10. Weird plot twist aside, nothing to recommend about this one at all. Sub-par debut on my part!
(As you may have seen, I like to add songs that I feel suit the story at the top of the page. I decide what they're gonna be about a minute before publishing, and as such they could be anything at all. Today's choice is The 5th Dimension's 'Up Up and Away' from 1967. A sweet, sugary pop song about balloons. What more could you want from life?)
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