Days without you

Chapter 2: Separation

Day 02

2nd May 2024, Thursday

As usual, ever since you left offshore, our timings have been quite messy. It's either my messages come in first or his. But today was the first day, and he seemed to take longer than usual. My journey to was kind of distracted. My mind was mostly stuck thinking about you. I listened to all the songs you gave me, and they made me feel even more like I was missing you. I kept checking my phone every hour, even though his text tone should be different. But again, I reminded myself of the research I did the night before, preparing for the expected and unexpected. All I needed was time and patience. Maybe he needed some time, or perhaps the connections were pretty bad there. Texts kept coming in, but none were from him.

Time check: 09:01 hrs.

Finally, as I was looking forward to, your messages came in wishing me good morning. My night was so hard without you. I struggled to sleep, with most of my thoughts revolving around you and only you. I wondered what you were doing, how things were going for you, if you were eating and resting well, and if you were missing me and thinking about me.

I was glad to hear that you were doing fine, that you were able to eat and sleep well despite working late last night. We chatted for quite some time, making the most of the given grace of 15 minutes to say whatever was on our minds.

What mattered most was that both of us were worried about each other. You were worried about me, and I was worried about you. You had a strong feeling that I wasn't fine and that I was trying to hide things from you, while I was forever stuck in between, concerned about your safety and well-being. I couldn't focus on teaching because I didn't want to miss the chance to chat with you. Those 15 minutes were already a blessing, and it felt like a limited-time offer, you know? So, I made use of it while I could! My work could wait!

All I can say is, I just miss you so much, Tristan! I never knew it would be this hard. We finally said goodbye at 10:16 a.m.

Honestly, I'm just trying to keep myself busy to fill the void. I'm squeezing in as many activities as I can to keep myself from feeling uneasy or thinking too much about you.

I headed home and went about my usual routine. I was listening to Spotify while preparing dinner, not really aware of what I was thinking. Then, accidentally, I poured hot boiling pasta water on my hand, causing a burn. Coincidentally, your texts came in at 20:32. I had to delay my response while attending to my clumsiness. It seems like Tristan is a master at guessing and reading my mind now, as he knew what I was thinking and why it happened. You know well now that we haven't been talking or texting often as usual, and I've been worrying about you, mostly because I can't see your face.

We chatted for a while, and finally, I noticed "myself" in the emoji. My badger emoji had been there for quite a while, but I guess no one noticed it. Now, we both have specific nicknames for each other: "My Lion" with a heart and lion face emoji for you, and "My Badger" with a heart smiley and a badger emoji for me. You even learned to set up a special text tone for me when I text you, after knowing that I did the same for myself when your texts or calls come in. Not sure about the calling part, though.

We made sure to use our time wisely. We chatted about a lot of things, cracking jokes in between. We talked about how Siri is doing his job and joked about him. Being shocked when I call you too suddenly. I could imagine us laughing like crazy over the phone while talking about this! Haha! We even talked about our "third-party listener" who always interrupts our conversations.

I did my usual routine check on you and always remember to ask about how your day was. It's one of the most important things that I should not forget because it shows how supportive I am on the other side and that I'm always there for you. For now, that's the only way I can provide support. I hope I'm doing my best for you, babe.

I love you more than anything, Tristan. I miss you the most now.

Yours Truly,

Thea, 0356am