I hate you more

17. Train Ride Home

I'm currently sat in Mr chambers office, he's giving me some sympathetic talk about my mom and so on, I end up not even hearing half of it from being blanked out and numb, I always hoped I'd some day reconnect with her, that won't happen now

Neither Mr chambers or Talia seem to notice that I'm not actually hearing anything he's saying, oh yeah both the chamber siblings are here with me, neither have left my side since the call, they take shifts staying with me when one has class the other stays with me

They think I'm gonna commit suicide or something like that, whatever

Blakes warm hand squeezes my thigh getting my attention out of my blury daze, I come back to reality to see his dad looking at me concerned and looks like he's waiting for an answer

"what sorry" I say in a hushed tone feeling bad that I didn't hear a word of what he just said

"don't worry about your class's I'll handle all of that and grade you off what your usual marks would be, so you don't have to worry any of this while your home" he says repeating himself

I just give him a small smile

"I can come with if you like" Talia says getting my attention a soft smile on her face

"no you can't, you're a first year you need to be here" I nutter at her sweet offer as I squeeze her hand she does the same with mine

"I'll go, you can't tell me I can't" Blake says making me sigh deeply I don't exactly have the energy to argue with him, he'd win anyways

"you're not going alone Kady-Ann" he says again after looking at my face that is telling him he doesn't need to and that I'll be fine

"it's settled then" Mr chambers says agreeing with his son on the fact that he won't let me go alone

I'm not going to kill myself

We're only going for a day or so , so I just throw some stuff in a duffle bag not too bothered about what's packed, I'm too numb to care quite frankly

"you ready" I hear Blake say lightly making me look up from my phone, it's an old photo of me and mom before she stopped caring, a tear hits the screen before I look up

"mmh hmm" I hum quickly wiping the tear off my fave, and out the door, he takes the duffle bag from my hand and slings it over his shoulder

"I love you" Talia says as she embraced me in a tight warm hug which I happily return to her

"I love you too" I nutter back before pulling myself out the hug and walking out the door with Blake

He decided it would be easier if we got a train, he only did that so his attention can be more on me than having to focus on the road, he got Tristan to drop us off at the station

We're only stood waiting for the train for a few minutes, Blake ushers me on and we find a seat near the back of one of the carts it only sits two people instead of the one with the table in the middle that seats four

He let's me in first so I'm sat by the window, he puts the bags in the carry on above us and then sits down, I'm in no mood to talk to I put my earbuds into my ears and play music

What was I made for by Billie Eilish

Blake seems to understand that I don't want to talk and doesn't take it offensively, he just puts his own airpods in and watches a movie on his phone and puts in a phone holder then hangs it on the seat in front of him so he doesn't need to hold it

The window isn't comfortable to lean my head on so I turn to Blake my emotions are non existent at the moment so I don't care how it looks as I rest my head on his shoulder, he doesn't seem to mind and sinks down into the seat abit making it more comfortable for me

His hand is resting on my knee and I play with his fingers looking down at them, his hands are much larger than mine, his fingers longer than mine, the muscle in his hands evident, I trace my fingers along the veins

Flipping his hand over I trace all the lines on his palm before his fingers tangle with mine, my hand Almost instantly feels warm, unfamiliar tingles travel through my hand tickling it lightly

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"hey sleepy" I hear Blakes voice say softly as he rubs my arm with is spare hand mainly because my left hand is still clinging to his right one, this train Ride is 5 hours long

Jesus kady have you been holding his hand this entire ride

I take my hand out his quickly realising I've been holding this boy captive for the whole ride, what if he needed the bathroom?

"come on were almost at our stop" he says softly keeping in mind that I've only just woken up

"sorry" I say referring to his hand, he seems to know why I'm apologising for and laughs a little

"for what, finding comfort in someone?" he asks with a smile on his face

It's not long till we get to our station and step out the train into our small home town, the town we grew up in, the town full of memories, the town full of people who are most likely going to keep coming up to me as its a very small town so I wouldn't be surprised if eveyone knows

Blake calls a taxi and gets me a coffee which I haven't had in ages making me look at him a little confused seeming he's the one that cut off my supply

"go on" he says laughing at my reaction before handing it to me, it's caramel latte... How did he know it was my favourite?  I always order different ones so I don't get bored of it but he's never seen me with one before

Talia

"thank you" I say softly and he just smiles and gives me a wink

"no problem princess" he says in response the to get me to smile which works

Nobody ever calls me that, I've never been called that

Until Blake Chambers