Forever or Fling?

Regret

It's 3am and I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning for 4 hours, unable to get the words Rhea said to me out of my head.

"you're nothing to me. nothing but a fling."

why?
why would she say that?
what did I do?

The words loop in my head for the whole night.

It's 5am, my alarm hadn't went off yet, but I decide to get up early and start my day since there would be no sleeping I suppose.

I walked downstairs to my apartment kitchen and decided to put coffee on. I let my dog out to the backyard and then come immediately back in and go and get dressed.

The words still ringing in my ears.

I grab my phone from beside my bed just to see if Rhea had said anything about last night, but nothing.

i didn't cry after it happened, i was too in shock I guess, but seeing there was no messages, I immediately broke down.

I sat on the floor and let the tears fall. Heavy breathing and all the ugly crying noises you could ever imagine began rolling out of me.

My dog, Zara, came running into the room. She walks around my bed and comes over to me and sits in my lap.

I guess I felt better. Zara is my world.

I pet her for a couple minutes as I calm myself down.

I finally gather myself and I run downstairs. Coffee I put on now cold due to my 48 minute crying session. I finally realize I still haven't gotten dressed.

I run back upstairs and change into my workout set.

I always worked out when I was stressed, not that I think this will help in this situation at all.

I pour the cold coffee out, feed Zara and put on my gym shoes, before grabbing my keys and head to my car.

TIME JUMP

I finished putting my stuff back into my gym locker before signing out and heading to my car.

I have to head to the airport tomorrow due to it being the day before RAW. Triple H has set me a match against Liv Morgan, Who's currently the Women's World Champion.

Im very excited, this is the biggest opportunity I've ever had in the WWE.

Yet my mind is still stuck on Rhea's words.

Did she...want to ruin this opportunity for me?
Did she know what saying this would do to me?
Did she want to hurt me?

2 years of constant wondering if she would ever feel the love I had for her, all to be told I was just a fling.

TIME JUMP

I make it home from the gym and I go inside to get settled, I check in on Zara and let her out, leaving the door open for her to come back in.

I let Zara in and she follows me to my bedroom where I begin to pack for RAW.

I grab my suitcase off the floor and open it, now walking over to my closet, and rummaging through it for all my stuff I normally take.

After 30 minutes, I finish packing my bag and set it by the front door.

I decide to go ahead and eat dinner.

I go to my fridge and get out my meal prep plates and throw one in the microwave, cause I don't feel like cooking.

I get my meal ready and I sit down at my table.

It's pure silence.

No Rhea.

No television on, playing her favorite shows in the background of the house.

No heavy metal music obliterating my ears.

No words.
Nothing.
Nothing but thoughts.

Suddenly my phone dings, I snap back into reality.

I check my phone. just to see...

"rhearipley_wwe liked your story"

what.

not even 24 hours after you break up with me and you're liking my story?

I can't even be bothered to eat.

I take my food and place it back in the fridge, before storming up to my room and changing into my pajamas.

I brush my teeth and call Zara to come in and I plop down in my bed.

suddenly It all starts to hit me.

Where did I go wrong?
Why would she say that to me?
Was it true?
Was she lying?
Was I not good enough?

Why.

I loved her.
I still love her.

she never said it to me, I always tried to tell her, but she'd always interrupt or change the topic.

Did she love me?
Did she want to love me?
Did she even believe in love?

Every thought imaginable, every question ever thunk was running through my mind.

I can't loose her, I can't.

I won't.