First Rain Of Summer | COMPLETED

Five

THERESE'S POV

"You have to wait for at least six months, miss."

That's what the receptionist told me.

"Tell her I'm a Morgan."

"I'm sorry but that's not going to work here, besides you have no real business here to set up an appointment."

Ayaw kumalma ng sistema ko kaya pumunta ako ng sementeryo. What am I going to do there? Shout or maybe sit on one of the stranger's tombs and cry. In that way, no one will think of me as crazy because it's normal to cry in a cemetery.

Naglakad ako nang mabilis at mabuti na lang walang tao ngayon dahil tanghali na at mainit. Then I spotted a tomb and sat there, not giving a single fuck about my dress that will get dust and dried grass on it.

I started to sob. I let my tears flow like river. I didn't bother to wipe them and let my makeup smudge.

Wala akong connection sa fashion industry. My dream since I was a kid to be a fashion designer. I remember my Dad bought me a beautiful set of clothes. I really love the color of it, and the design. It has a weird pattern and its skirt looks like a clown's hair.

I used it when the Morgan Clan had a reunion. At first, I thought most of the kids stared at me because they found out it was cute and beautiful just like I do. However, Liam, my second cousin shouted that I look like a clown.

All of them laughed, including my parents. Even Dad, who bought that dress, laughed. I tried to laugh too.

Unfortunately, Liam has this face paint that he brought. He walked to me and suddenly, he started to paint my face while my two cousins, who happened to be older than me, were holding me in my arms.

"Ayan na. Mukha ka ng clown talaga!" natatawang pahayag niya.

"Sa susunod na sa birthday party ko, ikaw na ang magiging clown ko, ah!"

"Bagay pala sa 'yo maging clown, it's because you're such a joke in this clan."

All grown up witnessed it and just laughed. I also laughed thinking it was fun and nothing serious.

All I want is a place where I can show the real me. Where I can freely wear clothes with more color and fashionable style without getting criticized or laughed at. I'm trapped in a world where having colors is a crime and being a kid is a mistake.

I looked around, maybe this is where I belong. I laughed with the thought. Ayokong mamatay nang maaga. I may be miserable but I want to live and escape from all of these. I still have my dream that I can hold onto.

The only problem is, how can I approach Madam Eula and persuade her to accept me as her apprentice. Hindi bale, I will just pretend I'm Xavier's friend. If hindi niya ako tutulungan, then I'll find a way kung paano ko siya magagamit.

Hindi rin ako nagtagal sa semeteryo at umuwi na. Auntie Georgia asked me where I've been when I got to their house.

"Somewhere, may inasikaso lang po ako."

"Have you eaten? May pagkain diyan sa fridge, painit mo na lang kay Yaya Tess."

Tipid na ngiti ang pinakita ko sa kaniya, "No need, I'm not hungry."

I have no decent relationship with them. However, I couldn't just ignore them because they took me in and somehow, they have a responsibility. I think it's time for me to ask my parents for an apartment this coming school year.

I called Mom that night to inform her that I've decided to move out from Auntie Georgia and Uncle Jonathan's house.

"Alright, if that's what you want."

I scratched my nose, "I'll just look for an apartment near my school."

"Go, gawin mo ang gusto mo."

See, this is the reason why getting their permission is useless. They never care.

"I'll move out this week. Bye."

Binaba ko na ang tawag dahil wala rin naman akong ibang masabi. I also called Dad if he can look for an apartment for me. Mas marami siyang alam at ayokong mahirapan. I'm so picky when it comes to my own place kaya I'll leave it to him.

"Hello, dear?" bungad nito.

"Dad, I'll be moving out from this house. Can you look for an apartment for me?"

"Of course! Do you have non-negotiable things in mind?"

Kinuha ko ang notepad ko from my table, "Let me think."

"You know what, just leave it to me. I'll look for a spacious and new apartment."

I sighed. Hindi man niya ako pinagsalita. They don't even bother to ask me why I'm leaving the house. Well, I won't tell them unless they'll ask me first.

"I'll move out this week. I hope you'll find one by tomorrow. Bye."

I'm so tired tonight but I still have to sketch some ideas that I have in mind. Kinuha ko ang isang set ng color pencil, the brand called Faber Cas\tel. Nasa drawer ko naman ang iilan sa mga sketchbook. I open the top drawer of my study table to grabbed one.

I scan some pages from my sketch and can't help but admire the dresses I've drawn. Most of them are gowns and dresses. I love to design a gown inspired by the Rococo era. I really love to draw these delicate details.

Whenever I'm sketching, I feel like I'm a child who dreamed of a magical life. Like a princess, who is loved by many and praised. A princess that knows her worth and she has a palace that she can be whoever she wants to be. A princess that has a choice to choose her own destiny and can live happily ever after.

But I must admit, people around me think that I'm the evil villain that is always plotting some horrendous plans. A villain that has always been a menace to society and they must get rid of me before something bad might happen.

I draw based on my mood. Today, I don't feel any amount of happiness. I think I'll just draw a gown that has something to do with mourning. I picked up my pencil then drafted the gown. Then, I choose the colors I'll use for the theme; black and blue.

As for the details, I made an enough length of trails; just right above the ankle. The sleeves will be a mesh that has floral embroidery; it's an off shoulder. I also drew black veil to match the whole vibe. It took me an hour to finish the design.

I'll call it MOURNING IN SUMMER.