First Rain Of Summer | COMPLETED

Seven

THERESE'S POV

Tanghali na ako nakauwi dahil pinuntahan ko 'yong apartment na kinuha ni Dad. In all fairness, maganda. It looks like a complete house. There are two rooms upstairs, spacious living rooms and kitchen; there's also a back room where I can do my laundry. I like it when I have so much natural light coming into my bedroom.

Hindi ko na raw pro-problemahin ang rent because Dad paid for everything. He'll give me money for furniture and appliances. That's good, at least I won't spend a cent for the rent and appliances.

My new apartment is located inside an exclusive village near my school. Dad said I don't need to worry for my safety. I can move in tomorrow. Wala rin naman akong masyadong gamit kaya madali lang ito. I can hire a moving company, it's hassle free. I'll just ask Mom for the fee.

I saw two familiar cars parked in a garage. I sighed. Kilalang kilala ko kung kanino iyon.

Hindi ako dumaan sa front door dahil sigurado ako na nandoon ang mga relative ko. Ayokong makipagusap sa kanila kasi for sure wala rin naman silang magandang sasabihin about sa 'kin.

I managed to ninja my moves coming in my room but when I saw my cousin, she's just eight years old. She's holding a color pencil and my special sketch book is open on my desk. Nakangiti itong kumaway sa 'kin. But I can't return it, instead I started to feel my blood flowing towards my head.

It's all ruined.

"Ate, I colored your fancy dresses. It's fun."

"Get the fuck out."

"Don't say bad words po, papagalitan ka ng Mommy mo, ganiyan po kasi-"

I didn't let her finish.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Get the fuck out of here, you little shit! Get out! Get the fuck out!"

I heard her crying but I don't give a single fuck. I need to get her out- or not. I'll show her how I get fucking mad. I want to show her that meddling in someone's sketch book is a damn bad idea. I want to fucking scare her, and in that way, she'll not fucking mess with me.

"Susumbong kita kay Mommy.'' Her little sobs are like music to my ears.

The rage inside me grows bigger. "Go fucking tell her but before that, you fucking stay!"

I took big steps through my desk and picked up random colors of my colored pencil.

"LOOK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Then I snapped those pencil in half and threw it in her direction. It almost hit her but I don't care. Hindi pa ako nakuntento kaya kumuha pa ako at binali mga iyon.

My breath is ragged and uneven. Kinuha ko ang sketch book at pinagpupunit iyon. Wala na ring silbi iyon dahil lahat ng pages ay pinaglalagyan niya ng kulay. My room looks grey and I can only think ways how to break things inside my room.

"There, you fucking peasant! You just ruined my dream! Everything is all ruined. Goddamn it!"

Nagmamadali akong pumunta sa mga coloring material at saka pinagsisira mga iyon. I threw them everywhere. I wanted to pull my hair but suddenly someone entered the room and slapped me.

I heard nothing for seconds and my head hung low. Who the fuck just slapped me?

"Ang kapal ng mukha mo ganiyanin ang anak ko!"

"Fuck," I whispered under my breath. "Fuck you all."

Isang malakas na sabunot ang natanggap ko at halos maramdaman kong parang may ugat na pumutok sa leeg ko.

"Fucking let go of me!" I grabbed her wrist so hard that she gripped my hair so hard, too.

I want to fucking cry because of the pain but I don't want to show her my weakness.

"Ganito ba talaga kapag walang magulang? Mabuti na lang talaga at hindi ka nila minahal dahil ang sama-sama ng ugali mo! Idadamay mo pa ang anak ko sa kasamaan mo."

Narinig ko ang boses ni Auntie Georgia na pinapatigil itong tiya ko kung makaasta akala mo kung sino. Pinagsasampal niya rin ako at pilit akong umiilag.

"Jess, that's enough."

"Hindi, Georgia! Dapat dito sa batang 'to tinuturuan ng leksyon nang matuto!"

Dalawang kamay na niya ang nakasabunot sa buhok. That's it. I also grabbed her hair. Lumuwag ang kaniyang kapit sa buhok ko kaya I took advantage of it and kick her. She almost fell, sayang.

"Therese! Tama na 'yan. Buntis 'yang si Auntie Jess mo!"

This is my first time hearing her shout. She always talked softly to me but I can't blame her, this is her house.

Pumasok ang asawa ni Auntie Jess at isang malakas na sampal ang nakuha ko sa kaniya.

"Walang kwenta, dapat sa 'yo hindi na binuhay."

"Benedict, watch your words."

"Huwag mo nang kampihan 'yang walang kwenta na 'yan, Georgia."

I stood there while watching him give a hand to his wife. Malakas ang sampal ni Auntie Jess but Uncle Benedict's slap is way more painful. I feel like someone punched me.

"Sa susunod, turuan niyo ang anak ninyo na huwag mangialam ng mga gamit ng iba." I gently caress my both cheek because they both slapped it.

"Therese, what happened? Care to tell me?" malambing na sabi ni Auntie Georgia.

I ignored her question and proceeded to inform her that I'll be moving tomorrow morning.

"Don't worry, Auntie. I will be gone from your sight and I'm not your responsibility anymore." I assured her.

"I heard noise from upstairs, what happened here?" I heard Kai.

Napatingin ako sa kaniya and shock is all written in his face.

"Cuz, you okay?" nag-aalalalang tanong nito.

I just nodded and flapped my hand, pushing him away.

Kai and Auntie Georgia both worried, and I can feel it. They want to show it to me but I push them away before they can express it. I don't need their pity.

I ignored the sting I'm feeling right now on both my cheeks. Now that my breath is even and I feel a little calm now, I started to pick up the mess I made.

It's like an unending cycle. I would feel slightly happy in my system, then after a while, annoyance or rage would take over. It feels like being happy comes with a price.

I was happy; I was able to talk to Madam Eula and I'll be moving out. I'm excited to show her my works; I'm excited to shop for a few appliances, but look at me now.

I messed up, everything is a mess. I'm a mess.

I heard some rattling behind me but I ignored it. I'm certain that's Kai, based on his footsteps.

"If you need a hand moving out, I'm available."

"Okay..." I whispered.

Pinagpatuloy ako ang pagpupulot ng mga kalat. Tears are slowly forming in the corners of my eyes. I'm still upset- no, I'm still feeling the rage in my system to the point I'm about to cry.

Crying while having this potent emotion is uncool. But what can I do? I'm done destroying things.

That afternoon, I skipped meals and I packed all my things.