GLITCH. colby brock

012. the thought of her

GOING TO KANSAS WAS the highlight of joeys year, it was summer fun filled with laughs and delicious food.

yet one thing that made her suck in her bottom lip and have a gut feeling of sadness was the living arrangements.

as much as she complains about living with sam and colby there were no other people she could imagine living with.

her and sam stayed in the same home in kansas but colby, he lived across the street and that may be close but it wasn't close enough.

colby brock on the other hand had always had a love hate relationship with their visits to the small town.

don't get him wrong, he loved that place as much as joey but something about seeing so many old faces all at once made his head spiral.

it was all the questions that were sprung "how is work?", "is LA as good as everyone says?" "when will you move back?", and most importantly the worst question of all, "why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"

too overwhelming for anyone who would be in that position with so many questions asked at the same time and he never knows how to answer a single one. instead he would sit with the overstimulation of people and their passive aggressive replies to his weak responses.

and with those thoughts colby brock sat in his childhood room, his palm resting gently over his chest as he had trouble breathing, sam and joey still at their own house probably getting ready for the day.

while he sat there, struggling to let in a deep breath.

a panic attack.

almost everyone has them, most common thing a person goes through.

but colby was going through it, alone. no one to talk to, no one to lighten the mood or divert his attention.

quickly he got up from his spot on the bed grabbing the water from his desk trying to help his breathing.

it was like his heart was beating and he heart every pound. tears pooled in his eyes as he try's to help himself but nothing helped.

finding himself sitting down again on his low bed, hands feeling the warm cloth of the blanket, eyes closing gently and slowly, dark surrounding him while heavy breaths left his mouth.

squinting them shut as he felt every memory he has of coming to kansas and getting flooded was filling his mind.

breathing wasn't the only issue, the boy was shaking aggressively as he imagined hearing the voices run in his ears.

the brock had genuinely thought that he was gonna pass out at the lack of breathing when suddenly

joey lilacs face had pulled up in the boys mind, and the chatter and whines of 'people' came to a stop.

the sudden recollection of her at the airport laughing at something stupid sam said was brought back to him.

her head tipping back and her hand touching colby's shoulder as if indicating for him to listen.

'colby you need to focus.' joey says in the memory really talking about the joke sam made but colby saw it as if she was speaking directly to him at that moment.

he could've sworn he heard her loud laugh ring through his ears and the soft smell of her perfume into his nose.

it was like she was in front of him, it was like joey lilac was calming down colby brock without even being there with him.

and within seconds his breathing slowed, his tears stopped dripping and his hands stopped shaking.

what was more scary than that panic attack was the reason it ended.