"Happy New Year! Happy Birthday Amor!"
I excitedly clap my hands as Amor, together with Tan, blew her cake's candle out.
"Picture, Amor!" sigaw ni Gabby and I was fast to get close to Amor to be captured by the camera as well. Napangiwi siya nang makita ang nakuhanang picture. Si Kuya Lark naman ay pigil ang tawa samantalang si Leriz ay walang hiyang humagalpak ng tawa.
"Picture mga ate!" ginaya pa ni Leriz ang tono ni Gabby at itinapat sa amin ni Amor ang cellphone niya.
"I'll send it to you on IG, ate!" sabi nito sa akin at tumango naman ako.
Pasimple akong kumuha ng icing gamit ang daliri ko't ipinahid iyon sa pisngi ni Amor.
"Red!" hindi ko siya pinansin at malanding pinaglaruan ng dila ko ang daliring galing sa pagpapahid ng icing sa pisngi niya. Umiiling lamang naman ito sa akin.
Nagsimula na kaming kumain at itong si Gabby talaga'y hindi nagpapatinag, muntik pa akong unahan sa pag-upo sa tabi ni Amor. Amor was fast to cover the sit with her one leg and when I approached her, she gave the seat to me. Hindi ko kinalimutang ngisian si Gabby, siniguradong nakita niya iyon. Hindi ko ugali ang magpakabait sa harap ng ibang tao lalo't alam kong may gusto siyang gawin laban sa akin.
"You're rude." pinaningkitan ko ng mga mata si Amor pero she just acted innocent and started eating.
"The fillet's good." inilipat niya sa plato ko ang isang piraso ng chicken fillet. Sana isinubo na lang niya sa akin, charot.
"Ito rin." isinubo ko sa kaniya ang puto habang tumatawa. Inaasar ko lamang naman siya dahil alam kong siya ulit ang gumawa ng puto. Sinamaan niya lamang ako ng tingin.
"'La, galit si birthday girl." I teased her by poking her cheeks na iniiwas niya naman sa akin.
"Stop it, Red."
She got up to get some juice at iniabot sa akin ang isang basong may laman noon. Kumuha pa siya ng isa para sa sarili niya.
"Cucumber?" I asked.
"Ayaw mo?" she looks worried.
"No, okay lang. I just asked.
Nang matapos kumain ay hinila ako ni Amor palabas. Pinanood pa namin ang ilang mga fireworks na hindi pa natatapos.
"Amor, happy birthday!" Bati kong muli sa kaniya.
"You greeted me a hundred times already." she said and rolled her eyes.
"Si OA." sabi ko rito. A hundred times ka riyan!
"Amor..." I called.
"Hhmm?"
"Have you ever wondered... where this will lead us?" napaawang ang labi niya sa naging tanong ko.
"W-what?"
"You're smart, Amor. You know what I'm talking about. I-I know something has changed in me..." I bit my lower lip before continuing, "You... changed me." I chuckled, hindi makapaniwalang inamin ko iyon sa kaniya.
"Red-no, don't." pigil niya sa akmang pagsasalita ko pa.
Ano'ng ibig niyang sabihin?
"Amor-,"
"I am not... ready for what you're saying. I am not ready for the consequences of what you're about to say." natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.
"Amor," I shook my head, scared of what she could say next.
"Look, I am enjoying what's happening to us. I am happy with you around and I haven't let others do things you do to me or do things with me. I don't like seeing you with others but... I don't think I'm ready to acknowledge to what feeling are they leading me to." my lips parted, hearing these painful words from her.
"W-what? Amor, enjoying? What do you think of me, a toy? Really, Amor? Enjoying is your term?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
"Red-,"
"I can't believe you." umiiling iling na sabi ko.
"Red, I just want you to be better at first then everything suddenly changed-,"
"You're just like them." she stopped at what I said.
"Tingin mo rin ay mali ang buong pagkatao ko. Guess what? You really changed the hell outta me." I let out a sarcastic laugh.
"That's not what I meant-,"
"Oh that's how I understand what you're saying. You want me to be better because I'm bad and you just enjoyed doing that. So I'm right, pinaglalaruan mo lang ako. But oh please, I am not gonna stay and let you enjoy what you're calling a change in me." I looked away.
"Kaya pala. You're so damn good, Amor. Ang galing mo nga namang magpasunod. You manipulated my feelings, making me oh so damn sensitive over simple matters and you had the fvcking guts to control me. Great." I started walking away.
"Red, sandali-," hindi ko siya pinansin.
I ran away with tears in my eyes and cheeks. Hindi ko hinayaang mahabol niya ako. Nang makalayo an ako ay saka ko lamang narealize na naka-robe lamang ako, naka one-piece bikini sa loob at maong short shorts. Worse part? I only have one piece of my slippers, damn it.
I couldn't see a single thing, my sight is so damn blurry already.
I don't know how it happened but I found myself in one hell of a big bed and room.
"You're awake." si Kuya Lark pala.
Napabangon ako nang maisip kong nasa bahay nila ako. Naabutan nila ako't naiuwi?
"Calm down, Red. You're in my condo. Denise's not here." totoong sa sinabi niya'y kumalma ako. I don't like the thought that Amor actually got me again kasi lagi na lamang yatang sa kaniya ako bumabagsak.
"I... heard everything." napalingon ako kay Kuya Lark.
Now that's embarrassing. He heard how I almost confessed but got rejected even before I got to say what I had to.
"You know, the thing with Denise... she never admits something she likes." hindi ako umimik sa kaniya, syempre'y kakampihan niya ang kapatid niya.
"She never admits something is good for her." Guess what? She told me she enjoyed me. She fvcking just enjoyed playing with me.
"I can see that she likes you but she's right. She doesn't know how to accept her feelings. She's not ready to acknowledge it. With us trying to light up the mood in our big house, she gets tired with our voices that she forgot to listen to her own." I felt my tears rolling down because what he says actually made sense.
"I'm saying sorry in her behalf but I'm not saying you should still give her a chance or think of a way to get her or kung anoman. I respect if your decision is to keep yourself away from her." hindi ako sanay na nakikitang ganito kaseryoso si Kuya Lark kaya naman hindi ko rin alam kung ano'ng gagawin ko sa mga sinasabi niya.
"I... I like her... so much."
"I know, I can see that Red. I can also see the feeling's mutual. The difference is, you're definitely braver than my sister." He chuckled.
"I am just trying to make you understand her better. I am not asking for anything in return, Red. Hindi ko na problema kung hindi kayo maging maayos ni Denise. I just want you to understand her and if you're really hurting and can't face her, then be it. Hayaan mong marealize niya kung ano'ng naiwala niya." he said and gave me a smile.
"T-thank you Kuya for bringing me here. Thank you for being patient with me." sabi ko rito. Tumango lamang naman siya nang may tipid na ngiti na sa labi.
I know in the bottom of my heart that I understand what he said but that doesn't mean I am not understanding myself either. I am hurt.
...
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RED DUOLOGY #1: Loving Her was Red
lightrainc
BINABASA MO ANG
Loving Her Was Red (RD #1)
RomanceRed Duology 1: Loving Her Was Red They say an all-girls boarding school is the usual prison for delinquent girls, but Reddiah Puhllie Crinzon took the opportunity to play with President Amoralia Denise Levarez. (GL)
