Wajbat-e-ishq by Mehreen Saeed

Chapter 6 (part1)

Woh ammi ke sarhanay baithi thi, ammi ki aaj bhi tabiyat biggar gayi thi, abhi kuch der pehlay is ne ammi ko khana khula ke sonay ki dawa di aur teen ghantay baad ja ke ammi ki aankh lagi thi lekin abhi bhi ammi munh mein kuch na kuch barr'bara rahi theen

"Chotey Shah... dheyaan se, chout lag jaye gi..." pari ne jhuk ke kaan ammi ke honton ke qareeb kiya to yeh jumla sunai diya, jis din ammi apne bhai aur bhtijon ko yaad kar laiteen woh aisay hi bemaar hoti theen. Pari zabt karti uthi aur maghrib ki namaz ada ki, khana ammi ko khila diya tha lekin ammi ki haalat dekh ke apni us ki bhook mar gayi thi, dopatta utaar ke us ne bed par rakha aur ammi ko aik dafa dekha jo ab sukoon se so rahi theen lekin Pari ko aaj phir rona araha tha, woh uthi aur daraaz se ammi ki diary nikaal li, yeh diary ammi apni jawani mein likhti theen is ne bohat dafa dekhi lekin parhnay ki himmat nahi hoti thi kyunkay yeh sab to woh ammi ki zabani sun chuki thi phir bhi aaj is ne dil ke hathon majboor ho ke khol li diary

"Mein fatima Shah... Shah industry ke owner ki ekloti behan, bhai ki ladli. Mom aur dad ki wafaat ke baad bhai hi mere baap aur woh hi meri maa.... ( Pari parhte hue halka sa muskarayi )

"Mein ne zindagi mein mom aur dad ko kya khoya bhai ki saans mujh mein ataaq gayi, woh har waqt fatima fatima karte rehtay aur phir mein ne un ke sath jawani ki dehleez par qadam rakh diya, kehte hain jab khushion ko nazar lagti ho aik pal bhi nahi lagta, bhai ko apni secretary pasand a gayi woh apni marzi ke maalik unhen biyah ke hamaray ghar le aaye aur phir yahan se shuru hoa mera khushiyon ka zawaal, bhabhi bhai ke samnay to ghani meesani bani rehti aur mera bohat khayaal bhi rakhti aur un ke baad mujh se har bura sulooq karti"
(pari ne zabt se ankhein band ki ) "Aur phir yeh mamool ban gaya, khud kaam bigaar ke mujh pay ilzaam laga dena aur phir mujhe mohabbat ho gayi, hui bhi us se jo khud buzdil tha bhai ka personal mulazim, Ahsan... woh nazrain tak nahi uthata tha mere samnay aur mein us ki dewaani ho gayi thi, yeh baat mein ne khud se bhi chhupayi lekin na jane kaisay yeh panaptay jazbay bhabhi ki nazar mein aa gaye aur phir unhon ne mujh pay bhai aur Ahsan ke samnay ilzaam laga diya, mein bhai ki nazar mein khud ko girta dekh saakin ho gayi, woh mere bhai nahi thay mere bhabhi ke shohar ban gaye thay aur Ahsan.. us ka haal lahu katu badan nahi tha kyunkay bhabhi ne us ko bhi is khail mein barbaad kar diya tha, bhai mere samnay kharray ho ke apne sar ki qisam kha ke pooch rahay thay fatima kya tum Ahsan se mohabbat karti ho? aur mein... mein khaali khaali aankhon se inhen dekh rahi thi, nahi janti ke kab mera sar asbat mein hila aur bhai ka haath utha aur mere gaal pay nishaan chorr gaya, mere ghar ke dar-o-diwar hil gaye aur bhai ne shaam ko hi nikah'khuwa [nikah karwane wala] bula ke mujhe Ahsan ke naam bandh diya, Ahsan, sada ka buzdil, na meri mohabbat se inkaar kar paya aur na hi mujhe apna paaya, is ke sang rukhsat ho ke jana bhi kahan tha? woh to hamari anexi mein rehta tha, mein bhi is do kamray ke makaan mein aagai. Ab mein fatima Shah nahi thi ab mein fatima Ahsan thi" ( Pari ke ansu tham nahi rahay thay, yeh baatein woh shuru se janti thi lekin ammi ke alfazon mein jo gham tha woh to aaj mehsoos ho raha tha. )
"Aur phir zindagi bas chalne lagi, Ahsan poora din abhi bhi bhai ke sath hi kaam karta lekin ab is ki jagah pehlay wali nahi thi aur mujh se to bhai begana hi ho gaye kyunkay bhabhi ne un ke dil mein mere liye kisi terhan ki gunjaish chhori hi nahi thi, zindagi mein ab mere liye kuch bhi nahi tha mohabbat paa ke bhi adhuri thi kyunkay Ahsan ko mein pasand nahi thi kyunkay woh mujh se abhi bhi maalik aur mulazim wala rishta rakh raha tha, meri khusihyan to tab wapas ayen jab mujhe pata chala ke bhai ke haan nanha mehman anay wala hai lekin bhabhi abhi bacha nahi chahti thi, bhai ke jane ke baad mein bhabhi ke paas gayi mein ne un se kaha ke woh bas bhai ke bachay ko duniya mein le ayen usay sambhaal mein loon gi, bhabhi ko laakh mujh se bair sahi lekin woh kaam mujh se laite thi aur phir bhai ki bhi khwahish thi ke un ka bacha duniya mein aata. Allah ne bhai ko nemat se nawaza, woh beta bhai ka tha lekin mujhe aisay lagta tha ke Allah ne woh nanha Shah mere liye bheja hai, mein poora din usay sanbhalti bhai ko yeh pata tha lekin woh khamosh rahay shayad jantay thay un ki biwi is qabil nahi ke apne betay ki parwarish karti, bhabhi ko to azadi chahiye thi. Shah mere paas rehta, hum poora din khailtay aur un sab mein mein ne Ahsan ko faramosh [Bhool jana] kar diya. Mera Shah teen saal ka ho chuka tha jab Allah ne bhabhi ki dobarah suni, aik dam dil udaas bhi hua tha keh shadi shuda to mein bhi thi lekin mere aur Ahsan ke darmiyan aisa koi rishta nahi tha ke mein apni aulaad ko is duniya mein lati
"phir bhi mein Allah se shikwah nahi karti thi aur phir Allah ne mujhe aik aur betay haan woh bhi mera hi beta tha kyunkay usay bhi mujhe hi paalna tha, mera chhota Shah ... woh bohat nuk chira tha ( pari halka sa muskarayi ) bohat ziddi bhi, jo baat mere barray Shah ne nazar andaaz ki keh un ki maa un ke baap ke jane ke baad poora poora din ghar se bahar rehti thi aur un ko apne beton se koi lagao nahi tha mera chhota Shah is baat ko mehsoos karta tha, tha to abhi sirf aik saal aur chand mah ka lekin uff is ka nakhra, is ke kaam barron walay thay. Mein ne barray Shah ke baad chhotey Shah ko paaya to mujhe laga mein mukammal ho gayi lekin na jane kyun meri khoshion ki umar itni choti kyun thi, Mera bara Shah paanch saal aur chhota Shah do saal ka tha jis din mujhe yeh khabar mili ke bhai ka accident ho gaya aur woh mauqa pay hi khaaliq haqeeqi se ja milay aur un ki car mein Ahsan bhi thay, mein apne dono beton ko pakre samnay kharray mulazim ko sun rahi thi aur mere kaan saaien saaien kar rahay thay aur phir kab bhai ki tadfeen hui kab Ahsan ko Allah ne nayi zindagi di, mein nahi janti
Bhai ki tadfeen ke teesray roz hi bhabhi ne mera samaan ghar se bahar pheink diya, mujhe woh ab is ghar mein mazeed nahi bardasht kar sakti theen. Mein ne un ki laakh min'natain ki ke Mera bara Shah shool se wapas aajay mein us se mil ke chali jaon gi aur chhota shah to bekhabar kamray mein so raha tha lekin bhabhi ne meri aik na suni aur mujhe nikaal diya. Mujhe ghar ke mulazim ne Ahsan jis hospital mein thay wahan utaar diya aur phir mein ne Ahsan ki din raat khidmat ki, is douran aik din bhi na aisa tha ke mujhe apne Shah yaad na aaye hon, na jane kaisay mere baad barray Shah ne chhootey Shah ko sanbhala ho ga, kaisay woh khana khatay hon ge, kis ke sath khailtay hon ge, kon inhen achay aur buray ki tameez sikgata ho ga, bhabhi ne na jane mere baad inhen kya kaha ho ga. Mein poora din yeh sochti aur chup chaap Ahsan ki khidmat karti, woh tandrost [heal] ho rahay thay, ab woh meri taraf tawajah bhi dete par mujhe ab un ki tawajah ki zaroorat nahi thi, aik din unhon ne mujhe bataya ke bhabhi ne un se kaha tha agar mera bacha is duniya mein aaya to woh usay paida honay se pehlay hi marwa dein gi isi liye Ahsan mere qareeb hi nahi aaye, hamara bacha is duniya mein aaya hi nahi. Mein us din Ahsan ko dekh rahi thi aur woh ansu baha rahay thay, mujh se muaafi maang rahay thay, mein kia kehti un se? mein ne inhen maaf kar diya phir meri bhi Allah ne sun li, mujhe  Pari di, Pareeshy Ahsan, is ko goad mein letay Ahsan ne is ka naam tajweez [suggest] kiya tha , Pari mujhe mere chhotey Shah jaisi lagti thi, nak chiri, thori si ziddi aur phir jis din us ne pehli dafa papa bola Ahsen is duniya ko aur mujhe chore gaye. Mein Allah se shikwah nahi karti thi lekin is din mein bohat roi thi, Allah se bohat shikway bhi kiye lekin sabr atay atay aa hi gaya aur mein Pari mein gum ho gayi. Aksar sochti thi Allah agar mujhe Pari bhi na deta to mera kya hota? is baat ke liye na jane kitni raatain mein ne Allah ka shukar ada kiya, bas aik khwahish hai ab marnay se pehlay mein apne dono Shah ko galay lagana chahti hoon"