You're All Wrong: *I* Slayed The Minotaur

Hi guys! It’s me again: your favourite Minotaur slayer here! So, I know that I like talking about my journey of slaying the Minotaur, but I’ve never actually made a story on how I actually did it. So, this story is exactly that: the full explanation of how I slayed the Minotaur.

So, my name was “Amitheus” and I got dragged for sacrifice to the Minotaur. When I was told about the Minotaur, I was like: “How the hell did this weird creature come to life?” But, the elders heard me say that, so they offered me to the Minotaur. When I entered the labyrinth, I saw the walls towering over us, me and the other unlucky people. The sun was our only light, for we knew our dark and grim end.

At some point in the labyrinth, we split up so that when one of us screamed, we knew where to NOT go to live longer. So, I and the other explored a little bit until one of us screamed. There, we knew exactly where NOT to go. And, the Minotaur also made some very weird… bull sounds? I kind of questioned why there was even a labyrinth in the first place ‘cause like, what’s even the point? Couldn’t we have just been eaten by the Minotaur NOT in a maze? TO be fair, I WAS in a Greek myth, so that was a lot to ask for,

Then, it reached 12:00. The elders also were suspicious since they only heard eight screams and they waited for 14. And, at night, the elders were still there, waiting for the fourteen screams. Then, all my other peers got eaten by the Minotaur and that’s when I realised: bulls are afraid of things they have not seen before.

So, I used my mathematics skills to create a portal and time travel to the Iphone 15’s release. And, when I saw the price of the Iphone 15, I was shocked. I was so shocked that I fell and collapsed since it was overpriced. And, I courageously went to the Minotaur and released a scream that scared it. It wept tears and I revealed the Iphone 15. I told the Minotaur about its ridiculous price, its brittleness, and its overheating issues. And, the Iphone 15 SHOCKED the Minotaur so much that it fell to the ground and collapsed like it had an electricity bill worth £10,000. And, I celebrated and I was struck by lightning. I was sent to the future which is now.

So, yes, my name is indeed still Amitheus. Also, Theseus was with me when exploring the labyrinth. And, he got eaten, but I was the shy kid in my city so people didn’t really think I would do something like slay the Minotaur. And, Theseus was just really extroverted and everyone just started recognizing him as the REAL slayer of the Minotaur which is really disrespectful to ME.

I hope you guys enjoyed my story! I hope we can all now agree on the TRUE happenings : D.