Her Nightmare | 18+

|| Chapter 83 ||

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PARINIDHI

I sat in the gallery, hours slipping by unnoticed as I held Devansh's diary. I had taken it from the mansion, fully aware that the likelihood of seeing him again was nearly nonexistent.

Even if we did cross paths, his hatred for me would be so intense that he might not even acknowledge my presence. Despite his deep love for me, I felt I was undeserving of it.

Instead of standing by him, I abandoned him at his darkest hour. He could never have foreseen that I would leave him, bloodied and on the brink of death, when he needed me most.

Every step I took away from him that day sealed our fate, ensuring that our paths would never converge again. I had deliberately closed off any chance of reconciliation, knowing full well that I was responsible for his suffering and loss.

I had never regretted my existence until now. Now, I wished I had never been born. If I had never existed, Devansh would still have his parents and would be living a fulfilled life with a loving wife and a bright future.

The mere thought of Devansh with someone else was enough to break me. Tears flowed uncontrollably, soaking the pages of his diary as I wrestled with the heavy burden of my guilt.

I lowered my gaze, noticing that some words had faded from my tears. I wiped them away and turned the page, revisiting the account of the jungle incident and my kidnapping.

Devansh had written at the end of that passage: "I saved her in exchange for my peace and sanity. I don't regret saving her, but unknowingly, I welcomed demons into my life that haunt me deeply. Even so, I still don't regret saving her..."

I had read only up to this point before, the impact of his words cutting deep. The revelation that I was the cause of his mental anguish had weighed heavily on my shoulders, forcing me to put the diary away and weep for hours.

Turning to the next page, my breath caught as I read: "The stranger girl I saved reminded me of a fairy from my childhood. Though I don't recall the fairy's face clearly, my mind involuntarily brought her memory back when I saved the stranger girl. Her face was as indistinct as the fairy's, and neither ever returned. I waited for her to come, but she never did. It's probably for the best, had she come, it would have dredged up all the painful memories, tormenting me further. Still, she should have come to say thank you..."

I whispered "Thank you, Dev" to myself, turning the page with the hope of finding more. But it was blank. I flipped through the remaining pages, all blank, until I reached the last one. To my surprise, there was something written, though my tears had blurred the words.

Wiping my tears, I read the final lines: "I died today because I married the woman I love, but not to love her—to torment her."

My fingers traced the words, and it was evident that Devansh had cried while writing them.

I took a deep breath, struggling to keep my emotions in check, and closed the diary abruptly, pressing it to my chest in an attempt to feel his warmth.

But I couldn't hold back any longer. Tears flowed freely, and I felt a profound sense of loss. I missed him deeply—his touch, his warmth, the light in his eyes when he looked at me, and the smile that had been for me. I missed us.

"Dev," I whispered, clinging to a false hope that he might still respond. "Yes, love," I imagined him saying.

I tried to compose myself but failed. Overwhelmed by grief, I sobbed uncontrollably, my cries echoing in the emptiness. I buried my head in my knees, tears streaming down my face. "Dev, I miss you. Please come and take me home," I whispered through my sobs.