Back at the Collymore residence...
Albert and Pest are sitting on a sofa.
Pest is reading a book.
Albert: "Dad?"
Pest: "Yes, Albert?"
Albert: "I- I was kind of wondering...um..."
Pest: "Yeah?"
Albert: "Nothing."
The silence is loud here.
Pest looked at Albert.
Pest: "D-did you have fun with Poob?"
Albert looked at Pest.
Albert: "Yeah...he was okay. He's a little girlish though."
Pest: "Oh, yes."
Pest puts on his contacts.
More silence follows.
Albert thought of something to ask his father.
Albert: "Dad?"
Pest looked at him.
Albert: "D-do you know how many inches... your penis is?"
Pest thought for a moment.
Pest: "I never measured." (Takes off contacts)
Albert: "'Cause... Lampert Howard says his penis is eleven inches long, do you think that's possible?"
Pest: "What Lampert Howard doesn't know, is that it's not length that matters. It's width."
Albert looked down for a moment before looking back at Pest.
Albert: "Why?"
Pest: "Things..get a little more...intense."
Albert looks down.
Albert: "Wh-what do you mean" (Looks at Pest) "'intense'?"
Pest: "...Have you been...practicing?"
Albert looks down again.
Albert: "Yeah but...it's no use. Nothing comes."
Pest caresses Albert's hair with his hand.
Pest: (a small smile forms) "You have to be patient."
Pest: "Your friend Lampert Howard, I can assure you, is full of crap."
Albert chuckles slightly and smiles in a small way.
Albert: "Yeah, I bet yours is a lot wider. And longer."
Pest had a proud smile on his face.
Albert looks down yet again.
Pest: "Do you want me to measure?"
Albert: "Mm- Nah that's okay."
Then Pest patted him on the back while Albert is doing his homework.
Pest puts his contacts back on and he crosses his legs.
YOU ARE READING
~deepika.~ (REGRETAVATOR STORY)
FanfictionThis darkly comedic Regretavator fanfiction is centered on the three Ashley siblings. Split moves through lackluster jobs with no sense of purpose. Now employed teaching adults, she is dating a student, Russian taxi-driver Unpleasant. Bive is an est...
