How I Broke My Heart Myself.

One

" I'm Pathetic ."

Shouts a voice so shrill inside me I can hardly recognise it as my own. Yeah . I did mess up but fuck I didn't realise it'll be so worse. Now here I'm he's standing in front of me and I'm looking at him like a dumbass who's aware of every single fucking thing she did but still denying it like she's done nothing.

" I guess you know i didn't meant it. I was just angry huh. No don't be so complacent Alan . " I said knowing the fact he's gonna smack me in my face if I didn't stop with this shit.

Alan is my boyfriend. No , tbh he's going to be my Ex after what I did a while ago he's probably gonna leave me today . I know I'm wrong but i couldn't help it . I didn't invite the trouble to me . Trouble invited me to it always. I can't live in peace for sure .

" Cindy , I'm not angry . Stop behaving like a freak in the middle of this bustling street everyone's staring at you like you've an escaped mentally surcharged patient."

He's saying true . We're standing in the Middle of the New York City and my behaviour is pretty peculiar to attract attention. I don't mean to attract attention but whatever idk if I'm going mad or I'm already mad but i really want to prove myself right even after I'm wrong. Alan is saying that he ain't angry over me but he's gonna fucking explode once we reach home.

Ik you guys might be confused what is the mistake I've made and is it so serious i couldn't end up breaking up with the person I've loved for past 6 years . So yeah , it's a mistake he can never forgive me for and I'm damn sure he won't forgive me anyways. This thing is gonna end today . I'm sure as hell.

" Ik I'm actually acting like a psychotic patient but it needs to be cleared Ally ... " I said suddenly breaking into a sob that i didn't meant to break into .

" Yes , we will clear it once we head for home . You aren't even moving Cinnamon Cupcake. "  There it goes . He's fucking angry with me . He only calls me with this nickname when we are in bed or when he's heads over heel for something. This time he's gonna kill me ik that very well.

Shit , Cindy Christopher. Your doom is near .

I trace his path as he makes his way through the crowd of people who are staring at us like mindless zombies. My heart continues to skip beat after beat as we get nearer to our apartment. He's not gonna hurt me physically but today I'm sure as hell I'm going to be the reason of my heart break myself. I shouldn't have done it . Cindy you suck ...

We had only made it near to our apartment when I suddenly felt like stars are dancing infront of my vision. I'm blacking out . 

Shit shit shit . No Cindy not here .

There I Go . One moment I was standing and the next I'm tasting the floor .

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