& I'm just a girl.

Mirror.

"Why?" She asked herself.

She was looking into a mirror and thinking.

Her hands had run through her hair enough times that it would no longer fall into her face. Her forehead was wrinkled with worry lines and sadness.
Her nose was running and her hands were filled with tissues, some used and some waiting to be used. Her lips were red from trying to bite back the sobs racking through her body.
But it was her eyes that were the worst.
There were the obvious things. The mascara stains and the smeared eyeshadow. The endless tears that were flowing.
But her eyes lost their luster.
They no longer shined.
And she didn't know why.

But that was a lie, and she knew it.
She knew it was her breaking.
She knew it was only a matter of time.
That her surface was something made of cracks and that it was only a matter of time. Just one more thing that would break her into pieces so small that even the most skilled person could not put her back together.
And it had happened.

She thinks it was a combination.
A combintaion between the expectations and the lies and the truth and that it seemed as if she was wanted but only the idea of her was wanted.

All she had even wanted was something that would not leave, or disregard her, but she would take something who would just love her. Who would help her.

And when she looked into her eyes in the mirror that night, she knew. She knew that the only way that she could ever have that was if she provided it for herself.
All she had wanted was to run.
To run away.

But she couldn't.
The time was not yet right.
She still waits and she smiles and she pretends. And every night she breaks into even smaller pieces, and each morning she awakes and redoes her makeup. And each day she pretends. And each night she breaks.
And she has done this since that night, and she will continue to do so until she is away.