I Will Win, I Promise

Winning and Losing

The promise stayed, stuck like an invisible thread connecting them. It weaved them together, drawing Kenma closer to something he still didn't understand.

It had been a few weeks since the training camp, and that night under the stars had been plaguing Kenma's thoughts. It had kept him awake several nights, distracted him from his school work, and even sometimes his games. It felt like a heavy rock had settled on his shoulders and gravity was starting to push.

He thought maybe to better understand his feelings, he would need to talk about them. But he wasn't a fan of talking too much and he was an even smaller fan of sharing his feelings out loud. However, sitting quietly in his room playing video games while Kuroo studied at his desk, he felt that maybe this was something he could talk to Kuroo about.

The thought struck him that this is buried so deep he doesn't even want to tell his best friend about it, and decided maybe dredging it up might be a good idea.

"Tetsuro?" Kenma said, keeping his eyes on his game to keep himself occupied so he wouldn't wimp out. Kuroo paused and looked at Kenma with a funny look on his face. Kenma never called him by his given name.

"I think you were right." Kenma said, swallowing hard and placing the remote he had in his hands beside him.

"Oh? About what?" Kuroo asked, turning his body in his chair to face Kenma. Kenma sucked in a small breath and let it out, trying to get over himself and just spit it out. Kuroo wasn't one to push when he knew his friend was about to share something, so he waited patiently for Kenma to breath out all of his nerves

"I think I might like Shoyo." Kenma finally said. His voice was quiet and he felt like his body was burning.

"Alright. How are you feeling about that?" Kuroo asked calmly, keeping his expression level so Kenma didn't feel judged in any way.

"It's...terrifying." Kenma said, keeping his eyes on his knees rather than looking up to meet Kuroo's. He felt his heart pounding as he scrambled to come up with something else to say.

"I feel like the world might end if he wasn't present in my life. It sounds ridiculous to say out loud, but it's true. I think I've found out a lot of things about myself because of him. I think I like him too much."

"I think that's normal to feel when you like someone. Feelings become too big to handle, and this is the first time you've ever liked someone this much, am I right? Are you going to tell him?" Kuroo asked. Kenma straightened his posture and finally looked straight at Kuroo.

"He can't know. Ever." Kuroo, raised an eyebrow at that, then sighed quietly and let his head fall into his hands. It's what Kuroo often does when he needs to think something through.

"How long do you think you've liked him for at this point? Is it something that you think about a lot?" Kuroo asked. Kenma found that his friend's way of helping was asking too many questions. Kuroo liked seeing the big picture but knew Kenma well enough to understand he was only giving small bits and pieces one at a time.

"I think I noticed it at the first training camp. It's been on my mind since then. It's just weird, I guess. I think I've had crushes before but none of them have ever felt like this." Kenma said, embarrassed but still pushing through. It felt nice to have someone know what was going on in his head.

"You'll have to tell him eventually. You don't talk about someone like that and just let it go unspoken. Sitting in those feelings for too long can be a lot for some people, you know?" Kuroo's eyes were serious. Kenma knew that his friend always gave the solution he thought was best, but the idea of telling Shoyo how special he was to him, outright, was motifying. A part of him felt like he could keep this secret forever and be completely fine.