Morose

Chapter Two

The girls look amazing. I'm in my favorite pair of tight jeans and a red tank top. I felt pretty cute before leaving the house but compared to my friends, I'm bland.

Reina's usual curls are straightened, so her bright red hair hangs down her back like the Little Mermaid. She's wearing a low-cut top that shows off her tattoo between her cleavage.

Mara is, of course, dressed to the nines in a short, red dress, and the way she keeps fluffing her hair gives the impression that she knows it. And she should.

Just like Reina and Mara, Carmen's top is low cut too and accentuates her cleavage. Hot outfit aside, she has the cutest face so she can wear whatever she wants and I'd still think she looked lovely. She usually keeps her short hair up in a ponytail but tonight, it's down and curled and I notice all her highlights.

Before making our way to the strip club, we stop for shots at some restaurant bar. I down two rum and Cokes and feel a good kind of tipsy. The restaurant is packed and I already forgot the name of it but I know it's Mexican. Even though there's huge chandeliers across the ceiling, the place is dimly lit. I'm not hungry but if I want to prevent hangover vomiting tomorrow morning, I should probably eat something. I order nachos.

"I'm trying to get some tonight!" Carmen says as she sips her big, pink, fruity drink. "Let's hope and pray that nothing traumatic happens this time, girls!"

"I'm gonna need these condoms to act right," Mara says, gathering her hair up and throwing it over her shoulder. She bites into a nacho. Then she blurts, "Reina got it in this morning!"

Reina sips her beer and says with pride, "I had one last night, one this afternoon, and probably one tonight."

"Who's up next on the roster?" Mara asks.

We laugh and Reina says, "His name is Nick. He's had a bad week."

My eyes drift to the window we're sitting by and I find myself people watching. A guy walks by and happens to turn his head towards the window. My heart plummets at the sight of him. He looks like James: disheveled light brown hair, stubble on his cheeks, and collar bones poking out from a tank top. He keeps walking and I order another drink.

I start picking at the nachos in the center of the table. I'm trying not to black out tonight, which is something I seem to be doing every time I go out drinking lately. I don't want to embarrass myself or my friends in public tonight. With every bite of nachos, I'm hoping the carbs or grease or whatever will help my stomach better handle all the alcohol I want to drink tonight.

Reina calls me out for being too quiet. She does this often since James died and I went a little crazy that one time. It never annoys me. I appreciate it but sometimes I get embarrassed because I don't realize that I retreated into my thoughts in the middle of a social gathering.

I quickly put on a smile and tell her I'm okay. "I'm trying to do food math. I think about which nacho will have the perfect blend of meat, cheese, and sour cream so I can have the perfect bite each time."

They chuckle.

Not a lie. It's something I definitely do way too often but I wasn't doing that just then. Saying that I was thinking about my dead fiancé wouldn't really hype anyone up for a night on the town.

On our walk to the strip club, I felt almost sober, which bummed me out. I needed to feel something, anything that wasn't sadness. I'm holding Carmen's hand so as not to get left behind as we walk through the busy city sidewalks, squeezing between streetlights and groups of people, construction zones and business windows.

"You remember that crazy girl I took out the other day?" Mara asks. "I woke up to several texts and a missed call from her at 7 am."

"Jeez," I manage to say. " And you haven't texted her back in how long?"