Kaz Brekker X Reader - The Bastard and the Blood Princess

Chapter 10

You had to do it. You had to ignore the memories.

Your father trusted you. You needed to do the deed, you weren't that child anymore who had found a friend from a boy you tricked.

You were now both monsters in Ketterdam. And one of you had to go, the city wasn't big enough for both of you.

So why it was so fucking difficult?

You had set your mind on it. Looked for ways to trap Kaz, trick him, snatch a weapon and hide it inside your clothes. But now, looking at Kaz made you think about that.

That little game you had played with Kaz.

The one with those old buttons and a wooden board, you couldn't remember how the game went, but Kaz had taught it to you. You frowned, why did any of this matter? You had a mission, and you needed to proceed with it.

You followed Kaz through the hallways. your eyes fixed forward but your thoughts swam in your long-forgotten memories. You knew your steps probably echoed through the hallway as you marched forward, but you could only hear little Kaz's laughter as you sat together on the floor, playing.

He stopped abruptly as you reached the party, making you collide with his back. He turned slightly, glaring at you. "Watch it."

You stepped back, clasping your hands behind your back. "Sorry."

He clenched his jaw, leaning towards you slightly. "We'll get uniforms for Inej and Arken next, but we need a reason to visit the laundry room."

You narrowed your eyes, trying to think. "One of us will distract the others, and in the meantime the other slips there?"

He shook his head. "No, we need to have an actual reason to visit there."

His gaze swept over the room, people going by you, giggling and swaying, having drank just a little too much.

"What about–" you started, but Kaz held up his hand.

"Wait here."

He started walking again, and soon disappeared around the corner. You closed your eyes, grimacing.

Focus, damn it. Neither of you weren't children anymore, your personal feelings about what had been and what could have been if things were different didn't matter anymore. You were the Blood Princess. Failing your mission because of having second thoughts wasn't an option.

But you couldn't help but think about all those moments you could have killed Kaz, and didn't take the opportunity. As if that little girl in a silk dress would have cried out without you knowing it was her, telling you not to do it.

You thought you were stronger than her by now. She was your past, but wasn't your present nor your future.

Right?

You stood in place for quite some time, staring forward, trying to look like you're keeping an eye on the guests. But as time just kept going by, you decided it was better to move than just stand there, and turned the corner. Two Grisha fed each other muffins near you and laughed, people swayed from side to side, taking support from the walls. It was a big party, that much was clear. A party to show off the Sun Summoner.

Allegedly, Kaz's voice reminded you in your head.

"Damn you, Kaz, where are you again?" you muttered, cursing some more under your breath. You knew that making your way deeper into the party could be risky, you could get lost. Be left here while others fled with the Sun Summoner. You had no doubts they'd leave you here — maybe Inej would object a little, seeing you had been no harm so far. It was strange, you had a feeling she had gone through a lot and hadn't spoken to you directly at all, but she was the only one who didn't glare at you with distrust.