TWs: Suicide, Self-Harm, OD, Sexual Trauma, Chronic Pain
A/N: First time writing hurt no comfort. Might make a happy ending sequel idk. I didn't actually relapse thankfully but I almost did. I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this))
Cabby was, to put it bluntly, tired.
She didn't have a dollar to her name. She couldn't eat like a normal person. And despite having the best partner in the world. She felt so damn Unloved.
Said partner, Test Tube was asleep. So she was all alone.
She absolutely hated when TT had to go to sleep. Of course she's never say it. She didn't want to guilt trip her of course. And her sleep was more important.
But she felt so alone when she wasn't there.
She could go walk around the hotel. But none of them really liked her that much.
She was playing an online game. But some homophobes made her blow up in anger. So she got temporary banned from it.
That sent her down a spiral.
A spiral of feeling useless, pathetic, unloved, depressed and worthless.
She reread the goodnight message several times.
"Stay safe! I love you sosososo much!!" She stared at it.
How? How could someone love such a waste of space.
Test Tube was a goddess. An angel put on this earth to make it a better place. She was a perfect person.
Cabby was nothing. A depressed druggie with nothing.
How could she love something like her?
She walked into the bathroom. Shuffling through the cabinets.
She found what she was looking for. A sharpener blade.
It's been almost 2 years since she saw it.
She brought it to her arm.
And cut.
She watched blood fill the wound. The blood oozed into the sink. Down her arm.
She cut again.
Each one hurt of course. But it felt deserved
Like her punishment for wasting space on this planet
For hurting those around her
For dating such a beautiful woman when someone who deserves her more could have her
For being like this.
When she looked at her arm again. It was riddled in cuts.
But it wasn't enough.
She opened the cabinet Absent-mindedly again. And put the blade back.
She pulled out 2 Benadryl bottles.
She walked back into her room. Grabbing a water bottle.
She chugged both pill bottles
She laid down on her bed. Did she really want this? Did she want to die?
Yes.
Her life was absolute hell. Every bone in her body always ached like she was 50.
She had severe sexual trauma that no one took seriously
She couldn't control her stupid fucking emotions
She just didn't want to be here anymore.
She needed to be put down like a dog.
That's what she was doing.
Putting herself down like she deserved.
She shut her eyes. She considered rereading some messages with TT. But she was worried she'd back out.
She messaged her. One last time.
An angel deserves a Goodbye.
"You deserve so much better than me. Find someone better for me. Please. I love you too. Goodbye Angel."
YOU ARE READING
One-shot book! (OSC)
FanfictionTHIS BOOK DOES CONTAIN NSFW. Read the first chapter for information requests! fandoms I'll do!: TNM II (Season 3 contestants only! I haven't seen season 2 yet qwp) BFB/Tpot! EEE/THREEE PB & GB Levelled Up The Broadcast Objective OR (yes I like OR. I...
