i love you, it's ruining my life

[the bolter]

by all accounts, she almost drowned

when she was sixteen in a hot summer
in a small town near bel-air

it was hard to leave someone behind
when you wanted something more of 'em
but not harder than being left

but when she wasn't looking it took a turn and
everything collapsed before her
it was not as she imagined it

from that day, she make herself swear
that she would not ever beg
and so she ran.

started with a kiss, how did we end up like this?
if we were only friends, that's just it, we can't repeat 
then you get a little bit close
i could almost recall the smell of your clothes
i tell myself, this must end

all my fucking life thinking i'm not enough
when you leave i'll break down and cry
that'll mean i was right

he was a kid in his twenties
childish as hell as you know it
learning how to control himself.

always mad, i felt at fault
he got me reeling on my spot
i couldn't get away.

and i'm still trying to get him far from
my little precious feelings
he knows how to hurt me well.

if i was sixteen i would fucking leave
and bolt through the streets of bel-air
but i'm not her anymore

started with a kiss, how did we end up like this?
if we were only friends, that's just it, we can't repeat
then you get a little bit close
i could almost recall the smell of your clothes
i tell myself, this must end

all my fucking life thinking i'm not enough
when you leave i'll break down and cry
that'll mean i was right

the innocence of acting
when you're feeling something
learning to know your place
when something doesn't make sense
now i just linger 
the thought of hurting his feelings
i'm a prisoner of empathy
when he wouldn't do the same.

started with a kiss, how did we end up like this?
if we were only friends, that's just it, we can't repeat
then you get a little bit close
i could almost recall the smell of your clothes
i tell myself, this must end

all my fucking life thinking i'm not enough
when you leave i'll break down and cry
that'll mean i was right