Literally, Hell

Chapter One: Being Judged

Woeful and depressed thoughts haunt my mind as sunless, ill-lit clouds taunt the sky above me. I look up at them in awe. In the distance, there is little sunshine. However, inside me; there is not. Inside I feel as though something is incomplete, a part of me is missing; like the truth is being shaded. I should be content; yesterday was my eighteenth birthday, my father and I had a fantastic night together with a small celebration between the two of us. I vividly remember glancing over the table at him with loving eyes only. It was one of those moments before the storm, the calm air washed over us before the rain would come and sweep us away. After today I shall find out the real side to the man I call father; he, behind closed doors, is whom they call the Devil. But, right now I am unaware of this; I am oblivious and foolish. Aside from this, if this was not bad enough by itself, I will soon discover that a spell has been lifted. I am now free from a spell that has been with me my whole life. Now my high angel of a mother can track me here on earth and communicate with me through my thoughts. But, as I said before, I do not know this right now. This will all be uncovered as my days go on. Welcome to my life, the life of Katie Ward. The crepuscular clouds follow me as I make my way home, I have just finished college for the day. My walk to my childhood home is usually enjoyable, but today with the clouds and my mindset, it is not. I have a feeling inside, a feeling that something horrendous is going to occur. Something leaving me shaken for the rest of my life and unravelling secrets I cannot even begin to imagine. Suddenly the feeling is more potent; amidst my subconscious, I feel startled. I am alerted that something is here with me. Eyes are here, judging me from afar. This cracked and crooked pavement suddenly got crowded. It begins to stretch out further with each step I take, however, I still feel suffocated. I am trapped. I know, with all certainty, that it is not the eyes of humans that are spying upon my very being, but the eyes of demons and shadows. They follow me with intense stares and judging criteria; unseen and unnoticed by other life forms. I am exposed, I am naked. They lay their eyes upon my soul, upon my inner being; they are judging my motives and my morals. I clutch my jacket's collar tightly pretending the cold, sharp breeze is affecting me when, in all honesty, I feel hot under the collar. One set of dark, threatening eyes takes one look at the empty hole that lies within me and begins to claim it for itself. It's seen I need some form of fulfilment; a partner and it's taken upon itself to take place there, somehow I let it, and it feels right. The demon is making a home deep inside of me; I feel as though the owner of these eyes is going to anger me, delight me and excite me all at once; will I find them? Who are they, and why have they chosen me? Within my heart of hearts, I know that whoever's eyes have settled within me I must find! I believe if we meet again, if they leave me that is, we shall be connected and I shall know it is them.

Their eyes have settled altogether now, and they do so with a sense of familiarity. I have to bring myself to stop focusing on them because I know I need to focus on my act. I need to continue with strength and pride as my suspicions lead me to believe if the demons get a glimpse or a trace that I know they're there they will attack, eating me inside out. Heck, they could probably devour me in a nanosecond. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of death that would be, I am terrified of them, and they know it, they know I know but they remain away, stalking their prey. I think this could be my death, that nothing worse could occur, and the demons shall be eating me in a matter of minutes. That is until a significant change in the atmosphere happens. Darkness is emerging, claiming the sky and earth.

The start of something terrifying is upon me, I can feel it coming. I am scared, so scared; the surface beneath my feet trembles, causing me to go weak at the knees. A more significant shake happens next, and I fall to the solid ground, smashing myself into a thousand pieces like a thin sheet of glass. I look up at the now spinning sky as I lay here; I'm so nervous, so helpless and I feel useless as I cannot bring myself to stand. Raindrops begin to flash from above; as they hit the solid surface of the earth they are releasing high-pitched shrieks forcing me to grab hold of my ears. I want to rip them off! I believe it would be less painful. My ears bleed from the cries; my head is spinning out of control, and I am stuck lying on a now cold, wet ground. I am the only person in sight; no one is around for me for miles, no one to help. Demons close in on me at a quick pace; this is it, this is my end, but, then instantaneously a white light shoots down from a once grey cloud making all of my surroundings glimmer; am I on clouds? It lasts a quick second before I am back to lying on the ground. However, this time I can hear, the rain has stopped, the demons have gone, and all is well. I try to get back on my feet; carefully doing so I search around to double-check everything is as it should be, thankfully it is, and with no hesitation, I run home and fast. I reach my home quickly; adrenaline helped me get some speed, however, as soon as I turn the handle to open my front door it sank in on itself. As if it is a snail disappearing into its shell, like it is afraid of me. What is going on? The next thing I know, I'm hurtled downwards, whirling as I fall down this time-warped tunnel, being wildly pushed side to side as I see my precious possessions floating majestically beside me. That consists of my nighttime book, my alarm clock and a few pieces of clothing. Even my stuffed animals! Everything is glowing a deep, menacing red. When I finally land on what I believe to be solid ground, I hear distant bellows and what sounds like chains jingling together as if someone is trying to escape. The light is dim here, and I start to panic. Further, in front of me, I can see a humongous fire, its glow is menacing and dark; as inviting as a trickster. I step cautiously forward as I head towards the flames that call my name; however, the images ahead of me are too gruesome to imagine and even to describe, just pain, torture, and despair. MY HOUSE IS LITERALLY HELL! Feeling faint I just let it take over me. I don't fight it, maybe this is death, perhaps this is a dream, I fall, fall, and take whatever this is! That is when the sound of my name fills the air.

"Katie," I wake up to the sight of my father's face, I jolt back and try to grab as much of my quilt as possible; what happened last night is real. I know this. It was not a dream, no matter how much I wish it would be, it wasn't, my home is Hell or at least the doorway to Hell.

"What are you doing in my room?" I say with a slight stutter thinking about what just happened; I'm finding it hard to speak to him, never mind look at him. Not being able to face him upsets me, I never thought I'd feel scared of my father. He looks down at me and grins; I am not too fond of it when he grins, it means he knows things.

"I know you know," he says, brilliant! I told you he knew something. "I know you can see everything now, it wasn't a dream my sweet, it was the other side. Hell itself and I think you know what that means, I'm the Devil or Satan if you will, your spell has lifted, and you are no longer protected. So, how are you feeling?" I have just witnessed Hell and my father standing in front of me. The Devil himself is asking how I feel. He wants to go there, how am I feeling? Try betrayed, shocked, and wondering what life is like now! What am I? More importantly, what is he?

"I know it wasn't a dream. I saw it with my own eyes, the pain, the despair, and the torture. I saw it first hand so how in the world would I think that was a dream?" I stop and pant, it all tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it, he looked down at the floor as if I am ashamed of him, but I'm not. I'm just not ready to talk to him about it; I need time.

"Look, I'm fine! Now get out, it's oh no! Look at the time," I'm running late for college, quickly as I can I get out of bed and run to my closet to pick out a random outfit, looking frantically through my clothes I settle for a white t-shirt and jeans. I go and get changed in the bathroom with the door locked; my father refused to leave my room, so I had to make do. With all the rushing around I blank my father entirely. I jump out of the house and hop into my Jeep, turn on the ignition, and with it jolting to a start I race off and head for college. Before nearly entering the gates, I think to myself that now, given what I know, I can do as I please, meaning I can skip college today. Taking the day off to collect my thoughts seems like the best idea right about now!

With this thought in mind, I begin to turn the car around when suddenly my father's face makes an appearance on my dashboard. I came to a sudden stop without having an accident or getting hurt, thankfully. Is he stupid?

"And where do you think you're going, young lady? You don't think I don't keep an eye on you, do you? Get to college, otherwise I'll show you what I can do!" and boom! He disappears. If he can make himself appear out of nowhere, I do not want to push him further; God knows what he is capable of doing. I head toward the gates of my college and park up. Walking to the doors, I feel somewhat proud to be myself. However, I know I need to dig further for answers; at home with my father, I was scared and I still am. Who knows what he can do, will my life ever be the same? I have read books throughout my life and heard stories about the Devil; it made me afraid for sure. However, I thought it was all make-believe. Stories passed down from generation to generation; a tale to frighten children. I never once felt that they could be true, Hell, never would I have imagined that my father would be the Devil himself! It wouldn't cross anybody's mind, and so it did not mine. I can tell you that today alone has made me gain a new fear of being watched. As I walk towards college over the car park I keep a careful eye out for demons or should I say father's spies as I now refer to them; none appear, and I am genuinely thankful for this. I could not handle any more drama for today, for the next few hours I shall learn and study; allowing myself a little break before heading home to deal with the nightmare that is my life.