my casanova

chapter one

lavinia sinks lower into her chair, crossing her arms over her chest and trying to remain as quiet and small as possible. benjamin drapes an arm across her shoulders, jostling her in her seat. she sighs inwardly, grimacing at the hot, heavy weight of him seeping into her. he laughs loudly, the chewed-up chunks of pizza undulating on his tongue. lavinia shies away from his obnoxious behavior, wishing the day would just be over.

benjamin leans in and plants a wet kiss on her cheek, smiling at her and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "right, babe?" he asks innocently, oblivious to the turmoil occurring just beneath lavinia's surface.

"what?" she asks, her voice high. she has no idea what benjamin was asking her to confirm, as she had not been paying attention to the conversation for several minutes. several years, if she was being honest with herself.

sophie and leah, seated across the table, roll their eyes in unison at lavinia's question, but lavinia swallows any contempt and anger at this and focuses on their answer. "there's a party at gus' house tonight," sophie says slowly, as if lavinia is the dumbest person on the planet. "his parents are out of town for the weekend and, like, the whole school is going."

benjamin looks to lavinia with a hopeful glint in his eye.

"oh, i don't know," lavinia starts. "the last time i was at gus' house, i blacked out for a concerning amount of time and woke up in his woods. i was grounded for months." lavinia recalls how sophie and leah had pressured her to chug drink after drink that night. they had told her that benjamin would be waiting upstairs for her and that, on nights like those, boys always expect a very certain something. lavinia's stomach had churned - from the alcohol or at the thought of doing something like that with ben, she wasn't sure - and she had thrown up. sophie had promptly grabbed leah by the arm and the two had made their escape, groaning at how their new shoes were ruined.

"it's not our fault you're such a lightweight," leah mumbles under her breath, earning a snicker from sophie. lavinia ignores her, turning her attention to the bustling street outside the diner they're eating lunch in. everyone is keen to enjoy their last few weeks of summer; school starts in less than a month. she watches mothers drag screaming toddlers from toy stores, tween girls briskly walking in groups through the shopping outlets, dads grilling on their front porches. their small town, smaller than most, is essentially just a circle - lavinia can see houses next to malls next to restaurants next to parks, all from her seat in the diner.

"this time will be different," ben urges, pleading his girlfriend with his best puppy eyes. lavinia doesn't budge, though; she has always found his puppy eyes grossly unattractive. come to think of it, she has always found everything benjamin does unattractive.

"lavinia," sophie snaps. lavinia lazily drags her gaze away from the scene unfolding outside and towards the blonde sitting across from her.

"sophie," she deadpans. sophie huffs agitatedly and pushes her plate of food away from her. her meal is largely untouched, as is leah's. both girls survive off of god knows what, and their perfect, skinny waists and clear skin are sure evidence of this. lavinia has found herself staring wistfully at their smooth, creamy skin and wonderful hips. she has imagined running her fingertips across their cheeks or having those hips beneath her hands.

of course, she knows that she's just jealous of sophie and leah's perfection. but she doesn't have to be, anymore, because she has ben. and he loves her.

"why do you need me to come, anyway? why can't you all just go without me?"

"ben said he would only go if you go," sophie says bitterly, shooting a glare towards benjamin. the boy only shrugs and pops a fry into his mouth.