Lexa turns the music of her radio up louder. Photographs are spread out over her table, torn away from her photo albums. Costia is in every single one of them. She should have thrown these away sooner, but she hadn't been ready. A part of her still isn't ready, although she needs to get rid of them. Her ex has moved on.
It's October and Costia is getting married today. She stuck to her decision not to attend. When she told Anya about the invite, her cousin had snorted. What she did do was send her ex a polite letter to express she does not wish to have any kind of contact ever again and for her to respect that. If Costia would stay in her life her wounds wouldn't get the chance to heal.
Her fireplace is burning and she even threw some extra wood on it to make it burn brighter. With each photograph she burns she feels lighter. There's a picture of her ex smiling widely while her face is covered with cake from a prank Costia had pulled on her. She never liked pranks, but each time she looked at Costia she melted and forgave her right away.
She recently bought a new bed, which may seem ridiculous, but she couldn't bear the memories of the old one. Now when she wakes up it still aches to wake up alone, although it's not as bad as it used to be. Her bed is different and so are her sheets.
Anya and Luna had been worried about her hands, which are healed by now. Even Ontari had shown concern. Her family cares about her, she knows that much. She told them the truth of how receiving the invite to Costia's wedding had caused her to punch her mirror. Ontari had looked shocked to hear that they're no longer together and haven't been since the summer.
The fire smolders, eating the photographs until they're no more but ashes. Bit by bit she's been doing better, in some way. She no longer jogs at night, aside from the weekends because during the weekends she jogs around the park to check if Clarke... or another student... is out there alone, drunk.
Each morning in the weekend when she jogs, Clarke is sitting on that same bench as always, even though the weather has grown colder. The girl is persistent with her passion to sketch, which is good. It's four in the morning right now, which means she'll go out to jog soon.
She cuts some fruit into pieces, feeling a tad dizzy which means her blood sugar must be low. Every once in a while she forgets until her body reminds her. She looks at her empty photo albums and puts them away. Someday she will fill them with new memories, better ones.
Clarke is sitting on the bench at the park as usual. She didn't get much sleep, but that's okay and she'd rather not break this routine she built. When she sees Lexa jogging, coming closer to the bench, she smiles and puts her sketchbook aside. She had been waiting for her, knowing she'd be here soon.
Lexa slows down when she sees Clarke standing up until she comes to a stop in front of the girl. "Good morning, Clarke," she says, her voice rather formal.
Clarke is always amazed by the authority that radiates off of Lexa, even when she's wearing such casual sweats and a shirt that she's drowning in. Miss Woods would probably look very good in a tank top, but she assumes she likes to be comfortable and perhaps a tank top is too skintight for her taste. Oh right, a greeting.
"Good morning, Lexa," Clarke says, snapping out of her thoughts. "I have good news to share."
Lexa had already guessed as much from the joy on Clarke's face. "Do tell," she replies with the ghost of a smile on her lips.
"I got into the art program!" Clarke shouts happily. She gets so excited that she hugs Lexa without thinking. It isn't until she feels how stiff Miss Woods is in her arms that she realizes her mistake. "Oh my gosh," she says, dropping her arms as if burned. "I'm so, so, so sorry! I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking and I just... sorry."
