And The Boy

Chapter One

It was a Sunday evening. The rain slowly dripped onto the metal roof of my home. Then I heard it. The door creak open and then shut. Dad was here. I wrapped the blanket arounmysef tighter. I knew what he was going to do. He was going to make me feel worse about myself then I already did. I heard his footsteps, coming up the steps, one by one. It sounded as if 1,000 dead soldiers were coming to slay me. The footsteps got closer, then stopped. I knew he was at my door. I took a deep breath in, and prepared myself for what was to come. The door opened slowly. There he stood, staring down at me. He was always looking down on me. I would never be enough for him, especially not now.
"Come on Jake. It's time for dinner." Dad said, and I cringed. He knew that wasn't my name. He knew but he kept calling me that anyway.
"Dad," my voice sounded hoarse and tired, "it's not Jake. It's Janey." He doesn't say anything, just shakes his head in disappointment.

I look at the lock screen on my phone. It's a picture of Caitlyn Jenner. She was my inspiration. My Mom and I had already been getting me estrogen for about a year when I decided to come out to the rest of my family. Caitlyn had come out to the world, surely I could do it to just a few people. I remember it all so well.

One night at dinner I just said it. My Mom, being the supportive one, smiled and patted my shoulder. My brother Kyle, nodded his approval at me. For a split second I thought everything would be okay. I should have known better than that. My Dad hit the table so hard that I thought someone had been shot. His face was red and his hands shook.
"No son of mineis going to sit at this table and tell me he's a girl! You are not a girl! You have the same parts as me and I am a man! A MAN!" He yelled, louder than I have ever heard him. He threw his fork down and it slid across the table, pointing towards me. I swallow, and it's silent for a few minutes.
"Janey, let's go. Kyle you can come too if you want. "Mom says and stands up. "John we're leaving. And we won't be back until you get your head out of your ass, and accept your daughter!"

Mom took my hand and headed towards the door. I heard my Dad get up, and my Mom must have too because she picked up her pace. We didn't go towards the cars though. To this day I don't know why we didn't go to the cars. We were at the curb when my Dad grabbed my shoulder and jerked me back. I lost the grip I had on my Mom's hand. She turned around to look at me. Then there were headlights. They were moving fast, too fast, and on the wrong side of the road.
"Mom!" I screamed, but it was too late. The jeep plowed into her, killing her instantly.

Her funeral was the next week, and my brother left for the Navy two days after. Now it's just my Dad and me. I haven't cried since that day and I don't plan on doing it ever.

I snap out of memory lane and go downstairs for dinner. The only food was potato chips and cold hot dogs. Dad was already sitting at the table. I sat down silently, putting some chips on my plate.
"Football tryouts are tomorrow." Dad says. A silent threat hangs in the air. I better go or else, I hear his voice in my head say. I have lost my appetite. I leave my plate full of chips on the table and go back upstairs. Why won't he just love me?