I'll Hold On To You

Unusual Day

As I looked at you, I felt the slowing down of time... ― Florence Joyce

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[Relaina]

It was only six-thirty in the morning. Pero sa wakas, narating ko na rin ang Oceanside Rose University. To be precise, I was standing in front of the building of the Engineering and Architecture Department. Ilang milya lang ang layo ng school na iyon sa bayan at simula sa semester na ito ay dito na ako mag-aaral. Pero hindi ko naman maintindihan kung bakit hindi ko pa rin magawang humakbang para makarating na sa loob ng building at mahanap ko na ang classroom ko.

Grabe naman. Kailangan ko ba talagang maramdaman ito ngayon? Hindi ito ang panahon para kabahan nang ganito, 'no? There was also no reason for both of my hands to feel this cold that was holding the straps of my backpack hanging on my back. Sa tingik ko naman, walang kakain sa akin ng buhay rito.

"Nervous?"

I turned around to the source of that voice. Kahit naman aminin kong kinakabahan talaga ako, nagawa ko pa ring ngumiti nang makita ko ang pinsan kong si Mayu. It so happened that we took the same course, which was Architecture. Sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga ito ang kursong gusto kong kunin at aralin. At least, that was what I felt. But until now, I still don't know kung anong course ba talaga ang gusto kong kunin at pag-aralan. I just decided to give in to what my father wanted for me. It was just for now, hanggang sa magawa ko nang malaman kung ano nga ba talaga ang gusto ko sa buhay. Wala naman sigurong masama, 'no?

"Bakit hindi ka pa pumapasok? It's not like the people would eat you or anything for you to be this nervous," Mayu said when she finally approached me.

"Alam mo namang newcomer lang ako rito, 'di ba? Of course, I'd feel nervous."

But my cousin just stared at me incredulously na para bang tinubuan ako ng sungay o 'di kaya ay may nasabi akong hindi kanais-nais. I frowned at that sight. Why would Mayu look at me like this?

"Ano'ng baguhan ang pinagsasasabi mo riyan, ha? In case you've forgotten, you were born and raised here until nine years ago. You just disappeared for nine years, and now you're calling yourself a newcomer? Baliw ka ba, ha? O baka naman gutom ka lang?"

"Pareho na rin ang punto n'on." Ito talagang babaeng 'to. Why can't she just agree with me for now? I was just being slightly dramatic, that's all. "Let's go before we end up late for our first class." Maybe it was for the best if I drag my cousin out of here before she even decide to prolong the discussion. Masakit na ang ulo ko sa pagtangkang pakalmahin ang sarili ko. Hindi ko muna gustong makipagdebate sa madaldal kong pinsan, pakiusap lang.

Thankfully, Mayu obliged. But seriously speaking? I noticed that people around me kept on looking at me. Was there something on my face? Did I just grow two heads for them to look at me? Wait, naisip ko na pala iyon kanina.

"You've changed a lot, you know?" Mayu suddenly said na ipinagtaka ko.

Bagaman natigilan ako sa sinabi ni Mayu, hindi ko naman napigilang mapangiti nang malungkot bilang tugon. "Maybe, something changed. To think I disappeared from this town for nine years. You can even include Oliver cheating on me. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko pa nagawang ayusin ang sarili ko pagkatapos n'on. So yeah, I did change. Wala naman sigurong masama, 'no?"

Tumango si Mayu. "You're right. You've become even more hot-headed than usual. Para kang naging bitter sa mundo."

Ano raw? Sa totoo lang, ha? I would end up hitting my cousin because of this. Unbelievable! Bitter? Ako, bitter? Seryoso lang? Okay, I would admit na medyo bumababa ang pasensya ko sa isang tao depende sa sitwasyon. Pero hello! Was that supposed to be a basis for Mayu to call me bitter?