High Stakes

Completed Novel

Chapter 1

    If someone had told me I'd become so entangled with an older woman, a mother even, and that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else, no matter how hard I tried, I would have scoffed away the idea. Not because I had any issues with older women, but more so because of the fact that I was in a place mentally that had no intention of getting wrapped up in someone, let alone one of my mother's closest friends. My recount of what happened to me over the summer of '93 may be spotty, but nothing I've experienced since has left a bigger impact on me. And as important as every single detail is, it doesn't come close to the magnitude of emotion I felt being in that woman's presence.

    I was fresh out of a rather nasty breakup and straight out of college, the last thing I wanted to get into was anything serious. I wanted to kick back and have fun. I wanted to make some bad decisions and finally, for once, let loose. Which was something I had never really done while being with Brittney. Never, in a million years, would I have thought our annual family trip to the Ozark region would put me face to face with someone who had the ability to bring me to my knees, figuratively, and literally. And as the universe would have it, that's exactly what happened. The funny thing is, as I sit here looking out at the roaring water in front of me, there isn't anything I'd do to change what happened to me that year. Or, thereafter...

    The ride up to the St. Francis River was visually impressive, it never failed in that regard, and for the most part, quiet. Yet, I couldn't for the life of me focus enough to write. Which was odd considering this was the perfect time for me to do so. For multiple reasons. Having played a hard-core athlete persona most of my life, I've kept my prose pretty tight-lipped, and during vacations I'd often find inspiration which would lead to me jotting down either a limerick or quip here and there. The only other person aware of this side of me was Kara, my younger sister. And, although I did have an older brother, he was mostly clueless when it came to anyone else's interests other than his own drug addicted lifestyle. Being estranged from the family for years now has been hard on my family, particularly our mother, and this trip was one we have grown to appreciate, and need. Taking us away from real life, even for just a few days, seemed like a godsend. That was one of the reasons I loved coming to this area. My parents hadn't had an easy go of it with Seth, and things hadn't been quite the same since he left. Any opportunity for my family to enjoy some good ol' fashioned happiness, indeed needed to happen. So, despite missing out on many summer trips with my college pals, there was no way I'd skip out on this yearly getaway.

I squeezed my leather journal with both hands, hoping it would spark a creative mood, but I was too distracted with the millions of random thoughts hovering around in my head. Mom's sporadic singing certainly didn't help matters. I loved her elated nature, but it jarred my concentration. I looked over at Kara, who'd been ping-ponging between sleeping and reading, and smiled at her contentment. She finished her sophomore year at MassArt strong and couldn't wait to get out on the water again. She was a white-water enthusiast and this year she had invited a few friends to come along who would be showing up later today. Dad was still typing away on his laptop, occasionally turning the music down when Mom's singing would get too out of hand.

Looking back at the previous night, I realized the reason for my writer's block may have something to do with the fact that I had partied a little too hard and the only thing my eyes seemed to want to do was close. Not to mention, I was suddenly experiencing some early signs of car sickness, having been driving for over four hours now along what could only be described as the windiest roads in America. I grabbed my lunch from the Panera bag and pulled out my sandwich, hoping a little food would settle my stomach.

In between bites, I looked out the window and tried to figure out why Brittney ended things. It was as if she had been waiting for the caps to fly out of our hands and our diplomas to be in the other. Not that I disagreed with her, I just didn't see it coming. So naturally, it was a puzzle without an answer. Which I hated. Considering all I had given up for her, and our relationship.