Namjin Oneshots

✯ Cursed Blessing- Part Four ¹¹ ✯

Warnings: swearing, mental breakdowns, nudity, matured content, mention of blood, abuse, suicide, vomiting, mpreg, etc.

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Oneshot- 11, Part Four
FORCED MARRIAGE AU
Words: 6,000

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Every part of Namjoon's body was shaking with dread, every breath he took being labored, and he felt suffocated, chest thumping in terror as he looked at the unconscious body of his young husband slumbering next to him. 

His head was threatening to split open from how it was pounding, but there was a much greater pain in the man's heart. For, despite his mind being blurry about most of the events from last night, he knew exactly what'd happened. 

He and Seokjin had had sex for the first time. 

Namjoon had dreamt of that moment happening in so many ways. But never like this. Not when he couldn't remember most of it and wasn't able to cherish it with his dearest love.

He could only remember Seokjin's pained cries... Even now, he seemed to clearly hear his husband's suffering sobs, which were branded to his mind.

And lust.

Namjoon recognized the intense feeling of lust he'd felt in his drunken haze. A dark desire to wreck Seokjin's beautiful and pure body till he'd him ruined and a fucked out mess.

Which, he'd done, as he realized to his own disgust and horror.

He'd done exactly what he'd feared of doing. Hurting his precious little butterfly. 

Since the moment he'd woken up in the morning, he was aware of how he'd fucked up. And the shock, when he realized what he'd done to his love while he wasn't in his right mind last night, was so much for Namjoon to handle that he'd started to tremble.

His sweet butterfly had cried in agony while he was in ecstasy, handling him rough and penetrating him raw and incompletely prepared despite knowing that he'd been a virgin. He could clearly recall Seokjin's tear-streaked face scrunched in excruciating pain underneath him as he'd selfishly fucked him for his own pleasure. 

I'm a monster... I-I'm... I'm so disgusting. So low and filthy. I h-hurt my own husband. I abused my innocent butterfly. 

How? How could I do this? What's wrong with me? How could I do something so fucked up?! I didn't want this! I d-didn't want any of this to happen! No no no!

A strangled sob tore out of Namjoon's mouth as he clutched his face, shuddering violently. He was naked, and sickeningly sticky from his deeds of last night, and tears rolled down his cheeks as he shamefully covered his lower body, dragon eyes already puffy and nose red.

I hurt him even after knowing his pain! What have I done?! I'm sick. I'm so sick. I don't deserve to be near Jin, much less touch him. And I dared to hurt him! F-fuck...

Seokjin was curled up beside him when he'd woken up, naked and sleeping peacefully, but Namjoon had freed himself from the younger soft hold as soon as he could. Someone as tainted as him didn't deserve to even be in the presence of such a loving angel.