The Betrayal

Part 11

I drove, kept driving... going as far as I could, listening to my playlist then this song... LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME by The Weekend, a song I could relate to. I opened to top of my car, to feel the fresh air as I drove. I let my hair be controlled by the wind and watched the sun set. I needed to be alone, yes! I was livid mostly at myself, I realized that I've been holding up on my past,my bitter past. My secrets that no one knew about, my melancholic life, f***! It was a mistake what I did to my mother. I didn't mean to push her down the stairs, I killed my own mother and was left with a bitter and alcoholic father who made my high school life the worst. That man would beat me up or wake me up when he came back from the sheeben then tell me to make him food. I lived that life everyday, I was told to abandon my friend...you would call me a young wife. One other day, I told myself that I was going to change my life...I poisoned him and I did not regret it. My mom and dad were the only family I had and knew after their death, I took care of myself, neighbors would come and see how I was doing everyday until I finish my matric then applied for varsity that's where I met Thandeka...a friend I made after many years. Somebody I felt so free and comfortable to share everything with, I got my life back but I was wild. I felt that I needed a man to be secure...I dated, cheated and did all sorts of things but Marcus...I guess he was just a punishment I deserved after all I did. I'm not as innocent as people think I am. I can be very dangerous sometimes but I try to hide it. My career path, I love being a doctor but I get so hurt when I lose my patients, it's traumatizing to see someone die during surgery.
"Ahhhhh!" I screamed and stopped the engine. I hit my staring wheel multiple times and cried "I'm sorry Ma. I'm really sorry." I wiped my tears then got out of the car, I looked around then saw a beautiful lake not so far from where I was. I got into my car and drove to the lake. I got out of car then walked closer to the lake. It was already dark and the full moon had reflected on the lake, quiet was the lake, I was really at a peaceful place.
"God, I know it has been a while since I prayed...well I only pray when I need you the most and I'm sorry for that." I sighed " I'm asking for forgiveness of sins, my past is haunting me and everything is just tearing apart. Am I going to die lonely?"
"No, you are not." I turned immediately and saw a women, she was an old woman...maybe in her early sixties. " I'm sorry, I couldn't help it but come when I saw your car. I live in that cottage. It has been a while since someone came down here. Oh,silly old woman,where are my manners?" She giggled " I'm Mary and you are?"
"Chloe."
"This place reminds me of my husband, he has left me...die of cancer."
"Atleast you had one. I'm going to die miserable."
"Chloe, why have you lost hope. You are still young, so beautiful."
"Atleast my friend is getting married."
"Marriage is what you desire? Is your life not complete without a man young lady? When I look at you, I see an independent women full of insecurities. Your sins won't be forgiven until you forgive yourself. Your past won't stop haunting you until you let it go. Enjoy your life,be merry then love will follow you." I stared at her and understood her very well. I gave her a hug and never felt the strangest and coldest hug like that one before but it didn't matter, the poor widow was probably feeling cold.
"Thank you Mary." I looked around," where did you say your cottage was? You are very cold,maybe we could go inside then get you something to wear."
"Let me tell you a story, one other day,my husband and I were celebrating our twentieth anniversary. We decide that we'd explore this lake and have a picnic in a boat. Something very bad happened that day. Wind,very strong wind come and ruined everything, our boat hit a rock and we lost control."
"That's when you lost your husband?"
"Yes, I also lost my life that day."Suddenly, I felt cold, then strong wind came out of no where, the old lady was gone! I quickly ran to my car and drove as fast as I could.