5SOS Imagines (and possibly preferences)

Michael #3 ( I'm Not Okay)

   ( I don't know why I am doing so many Michael imagines.  Okay anyway this song is based off the song I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance)

Well if you wanted honesty

that's all you have to say

I never want to let you down or have you go 

It's better off this way

        Falling in love with a love that has a boyfriend was the worst thing I could have ever done in my life.  Although, on second thought, I think that kissing her was the worst thing I have ever done in my entire life.  I met Y/n at school.  She was that cool girl who was always surrounded by people.  It may seem that she was unbearable but she was pretty nice to everyone.  At first, we were just friends but after a while, I realized she was giving me mixed signals and finally, one day, i kissed her ( I was a little bit drunk, I have to say).  I thought she was going to slap me but she didn't, she kissed me back.  And thats when all this toxic non-relationship started.  It seemed that she loved me, although I never heard her say those words to me.  But we had our moments, we were happy when we were together and every time we made love, we became one.

I never wanted to let her down but it seemed that the situation was getting out of our hands.  Maybe it wasn't my fault, maybe it was her's because she was the one who had a boyfriend.  "I can't keep doing this" I said one night.  "Come on, we're okay Michael" she said, grabbing my hand.  She started kissing my neck to distract me.  I had to remember myself that I was there to break up with her.  Although could I break up with her when we have never dated?  "It doesn't feel okay, Y/n.  You wanted honesty, right?  So that's me being honest." I said getting up from the bed.  "This is what i want.  I want you but this isn't working with your boyfriend.  I don't want to let you go but I think its better off this way."

For all the dirty looks

The photographs your boyfriend took

Remember when you broke your foot

From jumping out the second floor?

I still remember the day she broke her foot from jumping out the second floor.  She was trying to sneak out of her house because we wanted to have a romantic getaway.  But she placed her foot in the wrong place and she broke it.  I took her to the hospital (I don't even know how we didn't wake up her parents) and i stayed with her the whole night.  " I have to call Scott" She said.  I sighed.  "Can you do it tomorrow, please?  We didn't even have a chance to go away.  I would like to spend the night with you, even if it's in a hospital." she finally nodded and we stayed at the hospital together, talking, laughing and remembering some of the moments we had spent together.  "The doctor said I'll have a scar".  "Really?"  I said surprised.  "yeah, this way I'll remember you every time I look at my foot."  I couldn't help but smile when she told me that and i still hope she remembers that.  I also that the next day, when she called her boyfriend and he arrived before I could leave the hospital.  he looked at me in the worst possible way and when I arrived home and I opened Facebook, I saw that he had posted a picture of Y/n that said: "My little babe had hurt herself.  This is what happens when you refuse to spend the night with me ha ha I'm joking, I hope you get better soon babe.  Love you!"  I couldn't believe she was with this guy.  I couldn't believe she was still with him.

What will it take to show you

That it's not the life it seems?

(I'm not okay)

I've told you time and time again

You sing the words

But don't know what it means

(I'm not okay)

  
"What does he have that I don't?"  I asked her one day.  "You don't understand" "No actually I don't.  Can you explain it to me?  Because I thought we were fine together"  "Yes, we are but . . .?" Buts the third member of our relationship.  Or fourth, maybe, if you include Scott.  I tried to convince her that if she was with me, she wouldn't miss anything, but she didn't understand.  I told her time and time again. and she seemed to understand the words but she truly didn't know what they meant.  She only told me all that to shut me up.  She didn't understand I wasn't okay with that situation.

To be a joke and look

Another line without a hook

I held you close as we both shook

For the last time

Take a good hard look

I'm not okay

 You wear me out

  " I can't do this anymore, Y/n"  I said to her one night while I held her close  to my body for the last time.  I said those words out loud so many times that it didn't seem like I was telling the truth.  But i meant it, I really couldn't do that anymore.  "I don't want to sneak around because it's wearing me out to deal with the secrecy"  "Stay please"  she murmured.  "I need you, I really need you"  Iwasn't falling for her acts anymore, it was another line with out hook.  Although I was trying to sound convinced and strong, I wasn't okay, I was the one who really loved her and I was the one who really needed her.

You said you read me like a book

But the pages are all torn and frayed

But you really need to listen to me

Because I'm telling you the truth

I mean this

I'm not okay!

(Trust me)

  I thought she knew me, that she knew when I was lying.  She once told me that she read me like a book but I was a living mess and she didn't even realize.  "Are you okay?"  she asked me one night when I climbed the window to her room.  She spent the night with her boyfriend, making love in the same bed we used a few hours before.  It felt wrong being there.  I felt like I was committing some kind of a crime.  I was feeling sick.  How could she do something like this?  How could she be with me when she was really with him?  "Yeah, I'm okay.  Really, I'm okay.  I promise".  But the truth was that wasn't okay.

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