You were sitting in the blue velvet coffin, a bouquet of fake black roses in your hands and tears in your eyes. You were in the middle of shooting your funeral, surrounded by your friends and coworkers as they roasted the hell out of you. Right now Shayne was playing the CEO of converse, crying over who was going to keep them in business now that you were gone. You looked down at your pair of custom smosh platform converse you were wearing that Ian had bought you for your 3 year 'smoshiversary'.
Shayne finished his bit, earning claps from throughout the room. You peaked one eye open, looking to see who was going next. Tommy was stepping up to the podium, his signature lace funeral hat on.
"Friends, coworkers... those who somehow managed to deal with Y/N, I am here to read the final will of Y/N L/N." He began, pulling a piece of paper out of his long black leather jacket; a dig at your favorite coat you thrifted. "She left a lot of things for those she loved, I will not be reading those today."
You laughed, peeking at the offended looks on everyone's faces.
"Courtney, Y/N leaves you her sense of humor. There wasn't much of it but it was stolen from you to begin with." Courtney gasped while Shayne let out a pfft. He turned his attention to Shayne, "Shayne, everyone knew of the "fake" beef the two of you played up on camera... so to you she left her 17 pairs of platform converse, this way you don't have to look up to her... maybe now you'll see eye to eye."
You pulled a hand over your mouth, attempting to muffle the loud cackle that was escaping you. "Well damn." Shayne sputtered.
"To Angela Y/N leaves her entire Le Creuset cookware set. Everyone knew you were jealous of it."
"Okay that's not fair, it's literally all light blue, it's gorgeous!" Angela exclaimed.
"And finally Y/N leaves Spencer her heart... and yet he'll still probably ask if she actually loves him."
"That's crazy..." You huffed, through fits of laughter. The entire crew clapping and 'ohhh'ing at Spencer.
Tommy left the podium, grabbing your knees as he walked by the coffin, knowing you hated it. "I gotcha!" He sneered, making you yelp.
The only person left to speak was Spencer. He was in a full suit and tie, dressed for an actual funeral. He looked really good, you just wanted to stare at him. He approached the podium, a large binder in his hands.
"In honor of Y/N's memory I would like to start by going through some of my favorite memories with her in this photo album." Spencer declared, opening to a middle page of the album. "This is when Y/N and I met." He turned the binder around, showing a picture from your first day at Smosh.
Awe's could be heard around the room. You scrunched your brows, not trusting Spencer to only be nice. "Then I got to know her..." He hesitated, pulling an awkward and tight grin across his face. "Then she passed. That's my favorite" He showed a picture of you sitting in the coffin, clearly taken today.
"What the fuck?" you asked, "How did you print that so quickly?"
"The dead don't talk." Erin reminded from the seats, earning a middle finger from you.
"Anyway, time for the eulogy." Spencer continued, tossing the album away from him, a loud clap echoing in the room as the binder hit the ground. "The world went quiet when Y/N died... mostly because she couldn't cackle like a banshee anymore... frankly? Pretty peaceful."
"Oh my god." Amanda laughed, covering her face.
"I think we can all agree that Y/N was an integral part of this company and an integral part of this cast." Everyone nodded, Angela pretending to wipe away tears. "I mean.. Who else is gonna be worse Courtney? Or shorter Amanda? Or Taller Angela? Or less clever Arasha? Or Shayne if he was a lady barista who wanted to be a skater?"
"Jesus Christ man." Shayne said, shaking his head in confusion.
"He's not wrong." Courtney agreed, putting a hand on Shayne's shoulder.
"But things will never be the same without her. I am reminded of her constantly... mostly because her hair is everywhere. I don't know how she still has hair, she literally sheds like a husky; whines like one too."
You were shaking your head, holding in a laugh, not wanting to give Spencer the win of your laughter.
"But seriously, I love you Y/N. I don't know what I would do without you, I think I would actually die. Please don't make me sleep on the couch tonight." Spencer admitted, making eye contact with you, a smile on his face. "You mean the world to me."
Spencer sat down. You waited a dramatic few seconds before sucking in a large breath of air, pretending to wake from the dead. "How long was I out for?" you asked, making everyone laugh. "That was some... nice?... things you guys said about me, thanks guys."
"Luckily I just came from hell so I can handle the heat... I wonder if you guys will do the same," you smirked, pulling a folded piece of paper out of your bra, unfolding it and reading it aloud, "Call me sometime, satan? Oops, wrong paper!" You joked, tucking the paper away.
"Man what the hell?" Spencer asked.
"Well that's where she was apparently." Shayne reminded, making himself laugh.
"Okay this is the right one," You began, unfolding a larger paper. "Tommy... ur gay. Courtney... ur gay. Shayne...." You stopped, staring at him for a moment before simply moving on. "Angela... me and your mom genuinely text, and I want you to think about that."
"That's actually devastating." Shayne cackled.
"Amanda... we need to hang out more." You insisted. "But maybe just at my house, I'm tired of having to climb a beanstalk to come see you" You joked, turning Amanda's sly grin into a face of shock. "Erin... Erin Erin Erin....I lied when I said I lost that blue shirt I borrowed... I still have it and wear it regularly." You admitted. "And you're not getting it back."
"You bitch!" Erin gasped, disgust crossing her features as you blew her a kiss.
"Last.. and least!" You emphasized, "Spencer.. My best friend, my boyfriend, and my other half... if I'm gone you're a glass half empty. If you're gone, I'm a glass half full." You informed. "That's all to say: You're Y/N L/N's boyfriend, and that's your most impressive accomplishment."
Everyone laughed, teasing Spencer with an eruption of 'ooh's and agreements.
"Seriously though, I love you all so much. Honestly the specificity of each roast made me really happy, you guys really know me and that means a lot to me." You smiled, looking around the room to each and every one of your closest friends. "And a special thank you to Spencer for loving me, even through all the quirks and flaws that were mentioned here, I love you." You finished, suddenly pretending to have a hard time breathing before collapsing into dead weight. Then quickly waking back up, "You're still sleeping on the couch though." You noted, staying 'dead' this time.
