gekko x reader

Chapter 1

So this was it. This was the final punch in the gut that ended your relationship.

It wasn't a long one, only about 5 months, but you felt like you really were in love with him. To be fair you fell in love easily, a man could just compliment you and you were ready to get married, but this felt different. Which is why when you were walking in the park with one of your good friends phoenix, your heart was absolutely crushed by what you saw.

The person you thought was the love of your life, was with another girl. She looked so happy with him as he tucked her hair behind her ear and gave her a gentle kiss. He never looked at you the way he was looking at her. He never kissed or hugged you the way he did her. He always said he didn't like giving affection and there he was giving a girl affection that you wished he'd give you for months.

Phoenix saw everything you saw and was ready to get arrested. When he started screaming at the man you had to stop him, not wanting this situation to get any worse than it already was. Your ex-lover and the girl quickly made distance from each other when they realized they were being watched and walked away to somewhere that you didn't even care about knowing.

Phoenix offered to get you something to drink but you declined and just walked back to the valorant base. No one seemed to be in the common areas or dormitories which was lucky on your part because you had started to feel the tears sting your eyes and run down your cheeks. Your face started to feel hot and your vision was blurry. As soon as you got to your room it was as if a dam broke and you immediately grabbed the closest stuffed animal near you and started sobbing. You grabbed your favorite ducky plush, you named him Rubus and you'd had him since you were little. He was the only thing you really had from home and he always brought you comfort.

You're not sure how long you were crying for. You had been sensitive lately because you and your now ex were having issues which caused you to become a pushover and do things you weren't proud of while you were with him. You didn't want to be alone, and you especially didn't want to get cheated on. But here you were sobbing your eyes out because he was unfaithful to you. Some of the other agents tried to check on you. Jett and Phoenix of course came in and gave you comfort for hours. They were telling you about how he never deserved you in the first place and that he was a piece of shit. Although their words came from a good place it didn't really help at that moment. When they finally left, you decided to try to sleep, tears rolling down your cheeks as you shut your eyes.

-

You woke up early the next morning. It was 4 AM and you couldn't go back to bed. You couldn't even escape from your situation in your sleep, having dreams about him rejecting you and the love that you were so willing to give. You lay in bed for a few minutes before you decided to get up. When you checked your phone you didn't have any notifications and when you went to go scroll on Instagram you saw a post from him and the girl he was with yesterday. You quickly blocked him and threw your phone on the bed before going into your bathroom to take a shower, hopefully, it'd get your mind off things. When you looked in the mirror you clicked your tongue, "god I look like shit." you said before getting undressed and turning on the water. While you were waiting for the water to get hot you brushed your teeth and tied up your hair since you washed your hair yesterday. Before you were able to get in the shower you spotted your bag of razor refills for when you shaved. You hesitantly grabbed the bag and pulled one out. You weren't a stranger to self-harm, when you were a teenager you got really depressed after your first love and decided to cut your hips so no one but you could see them. The scars were still a little visible but that didn't matter to you, especially since you were about to go over them again. You were almost 5 years clean and a part of you felt guilty for what you were about to do but you needed any escape at this point even if it was physical pain. You put the razor to your skin and applied pressure, the sting was almost immediate but it didn't matter. You started to drag the blade along your skin and stared at the blood now seeping from the self-inflicted wound. As you started to cut yourself again you began to cry. The pain from the cuts was barely helping with the internal pain but you kept doing it regardless. You felt so tired, your head hurt a little bit from all the crying you'd already done and your eyes were puffy. Your heart felt so incredibly heavy to the point where you thought you might die from the feeling alone.

After you were done with the razor you just threw it away and went into the shower allowing the blood on your hip to be washed off. You tried to enjoy the feeling of the warm water hitting your skin as it washed the bubbles off from your body wash. When you were fully cleaned you decided to just sit down in the shower and let the water fall on you. You could feel your hair get wet but you didn't have enough energy to care. You felt the water run down your head along your back. You pulled your knees up to your chest and started to quietly sob into them. You felt like this was the end of everything. That it'd never get better. You were alone, with no one. No one cared about you romantically and all your failed relationships proved that. In the end, you'd either just be used for your body, or cheated on, or both. You wished you were just able to not exist anymore, to just disappear where you are right now.

When the water finally started to get cold you decided to get out of the shower. You twisted the handle to off and opened the curtain. When you stepped out onto the cold bathroom tiles you realized you forgot to get yourself a towel. Luckily, you kept some in your room for an instance like this. As you walked out into your room you grabbed a towel and wrapped it around yourself. The cuts on your hips were no longer bleeding but still stung a little. You didn't bother to wrap them up or take care of them and began to put on some casual clothes. It was 6:30 AM when you looked at the clock. Most of the other agents were probably waking up by now, so you were going to go train so they wouldn't bother you. You put on some cargo shorts and a normal t-shirt, you haven't done your laundry in a while and as of now you probably aren't going to for a while. You slipped on some socks and shoes and exited your room.

When you walked out you didn't immediately see anyone but heard some conversations coming from the dining room and kitchen. The training room was in the opposite direction so you skipped greeting whoever was in there. You weren't hungry anyway.

after you got to the training room you grabbed your personalized vandal from your gun locker and entered the practice field. The practice field wasn't huge but wasn't too small either. It had spawning areas for bots to appear on the side opposite to you and large boxes were spread around for cover. You walked up to a blue button and pressed it to start spawning the bots. It spawned five at a time and they only spawned when you'd hit the button.

You quickly ran up behind a box to cover yourself so you weren't left out in the open when they spawned. You looked over to see where they were at the moment, you saw three walking together with the others not seen. "Two are lurking..." you said to yourself. You decided it'd be best to take out the lurkers first so you wouldn't be cornered and "killed". You repositioned yourself behind a large box so you'd have plenty of cover. You held your hands together and focused, a pink glow bloomed from your hands and you shot it up, paying attention to where the light was shooting stun projectiles. It shot three to your right and two to your left. You decided to start moving to your left and quickly peeked the corner, killing one of two bots. You assumed the other three were going to start heading over to the gunshot so you quickly did a wide swing to throw the bot off and killed the second bot. Luckily the two bots weren't able to hit any shots at you so you were able to quickly reposition yourself waiting for the other bots. To limit the bots to only one entrance you decided to create a wall at one of the entrances. The wall was similar to deadlocks but was made of rose quarts and had similar durability to sage's walls. You wait until you hear footsteps and quickly aim your vandal, ready to shoot. When the first bot shows up you were able to take it down but another one sung quickly after the first and caught you off guard. It shot you in the shoulder before you were able to take it out quickly. "Shit!" you hiss at the gunshot wound. You felt stupid that you didn't expect that and began to beat yourself up mentally before finally, the last bot swung. This time you were able to react quick enough a swiftly shot it dead. You sighed a breath of relief and walked over to your locker to put your vandal away. The bullets that the bots use aren't real, but still hurt like hell and can puncture skin.

You sat down on a chair nearby and held your hand up to your shoulder. Your shoulder was bleeding a little but it wasn't anything you couldn't fix. Your hand started to glow pink and you felt your shoulder pain easing as the small wound closed up.

You decided to leave and just rot in bed for the rest of the day. You didn't feel like doing anything and only trained so you'd get tired again which worked. As you were walking out of the entrance of the training room you went to look at the time, not noticing the person walking in. You bumped into them and fell over, you grabbed your dropped phone as the person started to apologize lending a hand to help you up. When you got up you were greeted to a man with neon green hair, "lo siento, are you okay?"

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Guys English is my least favorite subject for a reason but I 🩷 gekko so I gotta do what I've gotta do. 🗣️💯