How NOT to get married - by Ottoman Empire and USA [ONESHOT] // Countryhumans

The Wedding

As everyone already knows since Ottoman's kidnapping and his great skills of making shit the fuck up USA and Ottoman have this issue of "being married" and they just have to accept it. It may be weird but at this point both of them have lived through way weirder things like nuking the Japanese Empire twice. That's probably something you should or shouldn't be proud of depending on the person, but America is very proud of himself since now we have a weapon of mass destruction probably no one wants to do a high-five with, the Japanese Empire would most certainly agree. But this is not about nuking of Japanese Empire, this is about the marriage of Ottoman Empire and United States of America. The wedding day was in about a week, everyone had to get ready and the venue was already set, there was some arguing about how to do the wedding but America said since he has the most children they're doing the wedding american style! Both Ottoman and America had to get their clothes for the wedding while Poland and the states had to somehow collaborate on the cake, which is hard to do when there's more than 50 people giving ideas.

Let's start with the American side of things, USA went to the cheapest and best fashion designer he knew, of course her name is France, since he is not paying.
"So... what do you want?" France asked
"Some cute wedding dress" America said
"What do you mean cute... I CAN'T WORK WITH THE WORD CUTE" France yelled
"I dunno, some bows and frills maybe, details" America started listing things
"Okay that's better" France said "I'm going to have to measure you though"
"... We have known each other for like 300 years and you don't even know my measurements?" America said
"Yes, I don't" France said "Now stand up and let me measure you"
"Fine" America stood up and France started measuring him
"So... does old little motherfucker know?" France asked
"That's one way to say UK" America said "But no he doesn't, not invited"
"Good, I'm invited though right?" France asked
"Sure, you can be uhhh, what do people do at weddings I've never been to one" America said
"I can be the flower girl except people I don't like get a spider" France said
"You know what sure but don't make everyone get the spider-" America said
"No don't worry just give me the list of guests and I'll prepare everything" France said "Anyways I'm done measuring you"
"So anything else?" America asked
"No, just come back in 2 days to get it" France said
"Great, well then I'll email you the guest list soon" America said
And so America's journey with the dress was done, but Ottoman's was only starting 

Ottoman was in a store with Türkiye and Russia, except Ottoman didn't quite understand how weddings nowadays work.
"We need to get some formal attire!" Ottoman said
"Yea... a suit" Russia said
"How is this formal attire for a wedding?" Ottoman asked and pointed at the suits
"Dad, this is what you wear at a wedding." Türkiye said
"But this isn't formal attire for a wedding!" Ottoman complained
"It is now..." Türkiye said
"Yea, can we just go and pick one" Russia asked
"I mean- I guess we can but this is definitely not what you should wear at a wedding" Ottoman said
"I thought we agreed on an american wedding" Russia said "Stop complaining!"
"No Russia you don't understand, we're gonna be here the entire day because he's not going to like anything" Türkiye said
"..." Russia looked at him in silence "You did not mention that when inviting me."
"It's exactly why I invited you, I needed company for sake of my sanity" Türkiye said
And so it started, Ottoman absolutely not liking a single thing either of them chose. The nightmare started, Russia started yelling and screaming after 5 hours because he couldn't take it anymore. Türkiye tried to calm him down while Ottoman rejected everything.
"I'M GONNA TAKE A FUCKING KNIFE-" Russia yelled
"AYAY- LISTEN-" Türkiye tried to calm Russia down who was absolutely losing it "Dad please just pick something"
"No... I don't like it..." Ottoman said "Show me another one"
"Dad, we've gone over every option like 50 times now..." Türkiye said as he was already giving up "RUSSIA WHERE DID YOU GET THE KNIFE FROM?!-" Türkiye held Russia's hand trying to make him not stab Ottoman while Russia was screaming at him
"Hmm... this one is good but I don't like this part" Ottoman said