INFATUATION

1

I hate the sound of people eating. The sound of it mushing about and the swallow. It makes my ears cringe. To avoid this I eat my food alone with my feet curled in my bed infront of a tv with the volume turnt to the max.

But he was different. I remember thinking he had to be the one. He was the only person in the world who I could sit across from in a dim lit restaurant with jazz playing softly in the background and hear each crunch his mouth made and not feel disgusted.

"You finna finish that?" He mumbled with his mouth half full of burger in his mouth. Usually if people talked with their mouth full I'd nearly gag at the sight or even the sound of it, but all I could feel was butterflies for the man that sat in-front of me.

His name was Steve, such a plain name for a complicated man. He was what I pictured my dream guy to look like and be like. He was tall dark and handsome. He was emotionally mature and in-touch with his feminine side but he wasn't to sassy. I shook my head no and slide over my left over pizza to his side of the table.

"Tell me more about you!" I asked but really demanded looking into his dark brown eyes. There wasn't much left to get to know about him. We were friends and one drunken night we slept together. I knew about his complicated family and his father serving life in prison. So I wasn't to surprised when I can see his mind drawing blanks on what to say.

I can remember the first night we slept together so vividly despite how drunk I was.

...One Month Ago...

There I was sitting in the library on campus and ironically it was where I found myself in the most trouble. Boy trouble that is. Word on the camp was that a carmel skin girl with glasses and a book was what was trending with college boys. After 3 failed situationships that started off with 'I saw you in the library...you're smart so you're not like the other girls around here.' In other words meant that I was book smart but looked naive enough to manipulate.

Growing up I was always told that I had a baby face mainly because of my puffy cheeks and although I didn't purposely act innocent people often perceived me that way but I could be far from it. After my 'men ain't shit' rampage I had in my mind and a few glasses of wine I swore to find somewhere else to study, somewhere more secluded. For a few months I had found  a classroom turned into a computer room to do my studies. One day that it was closed down to make repairs so I was off to my original stomping grounds.

"Hey! Haven't seen you in awhile where ya been?" An old white man that reminded me of Santa asked me. He was the librarian that was more like a butler if you asked he never said no hints why he reminded of Santa clause.

"You know busy!" I waved and quickly scanned the first floor for any failed potential relationships I had encountered that semester.

"Good I don't see anyone." I sighed to myself and I made my way to the private room that had 3 circle tables in it and a wasps nest near the window but it since it was December I wasn't worried about it. Thats where I first saw him. He had a piercing on top of his eyebrow that looped into the bottom, a nose piercing, baggy clothes well put together, and tattoos that nearly matched the color of his skin.

I was able to observe all of this through the corner of my eye but what intrigued me most about him that he was reading a book. He was so into the book that he hadn't even glanced up when I entered the room. Despite this I could still feel his eyes on me. Every time I'd casually look out the window in his direction his eyes would be in the book. I played the long game and kept my eyes in his direction to try and catch him looking at me it was as if I'd forgotten my promise already.