i said i won’t let even a single drop of tear
escape from my eyes,
even when i’m in the highest peak
of my emotions and just want to
explode metaphorically and literally.
i am sad because you can’t understand,
and because i can’t make you understand.
mother, i’m not the type of daughter who
will explain what i feel.
instead, i will swallow it,
no matter how hard it is,
and bury it in my intestines’
lowest part.
but sometimes they crawl up on me
again, and in my throat i feel
the acid burning the delicateness
of my inner flesh and
that feeling makes me want to cry.
mother, i loathe the fact that
this life will matter not someday,
but i still try to keep my breaths in me,
for if i didn’t, you’ll blame yourself
for failing.
mother, you have long failed,
since when you decided to encourage me
to do things out of desperation because
life offers no other choice but to
grab what’s in front of us.
but i didn’t tell you how much you failed
me, because i don’t want you
to break into tinier pieces.
i can endure it all, i thought
while looking at you because i don’t want
for you to go through more than
what you’re already facing.
this is how i love you.
i won’t tell you that i slowly die inside
because you will start dying too,
and there are a lot of things waiting for you.
i don’t want for you to lose them
just because of me.
YOU ARE READING
Found This Book Somewhere In The Forest
Poetry"Talk to my soul later midnight, when the moon's at its peak. That's the only way of communication that I know, because my physical lips will stutter if I told you about how I want to tear my human skin apart and go out."
